New Year's Resolutions

I didn't keep my resolutions from last year. I realized about at the beginning of the month that I'd barely made it half way through the Old Testament. I tried reading whenever I had a free moment, but a couple days ago, when I was only just beginning Isaiah, I decided that it wasn't worth my sanity to try to finish reading the Old Testament. My other goals (writing in my journal every day & completely 2 "merit badges") were not accomplished either. I don't even think I got through January writing every day...

Oh well, it's a New Year! So, I'm going to try again. My resolutions for 2011 are more like projects in a way. Hopefully, I can complete them.

1) Create a Chore Book. It's going to be a binder with the different chores that need to be done around the house, how frequently they need to be done, and how to do them properly. Monetary amounts will also be assigned, so that when the kids are older, they can earn a little money by doing chores. I'll be either putting the pages in page protectors or laminating them so that we can use dry-erase markers to check off what's been done. I'm going to try to add little illustrations and things so that it looks cute and fun because I'm more likely to continue using something that is cute and fun.

2) Complete the Make Love Last merit badge. Basically, I will go on a fun and exciting date with my husband every week for 2 months. There's also some other things along with it, I just don't know what right now.

Possibly... 3) Complete the Bust A Move merit badge. This one means taking dance lessons for at least 3 months and then having a recital or a big dance party at the end. This one is a little harder because it will cost money and that's why I'm not sure about it. I'm hoping to take swing classes with Mitchell, though. I've always wanted to learn to swing dance and dancing is also really good exercise, too.

Motherhood

I am coming to all of you wonderful mothers for help.

Last night, I had a bit of a breakdown. There was lots of crying and frustration. There was so much going through my head. I'm going to try to organize and explain it the best that I can and then, hopefully, you can help me out.

I feel like I am a terrible mother. I feel that I've always had a hard time with it. I don't seem to find the happiness and joy that being a mother gives so many others. But I want that! And lately, I've been finding myself always putting Joseph in front of the tv and getting frustrated with Annabelle for wanting to be held all the time. I'm always trying to find ways to distract them or keep them busy so that I can "get stuff done". I don't like that I do these things, but I'm not sure how to change what I'm doing. I have a hard time feeling like my days are successful unless I can visually see some proof. I keep elaborate lists and charts to keep track of what I do every day so that I don't feel worthless. But parenting isn't something that can be recorded on paper.

So I'm asking you all for help. What can I do to be happy in my role as a mother and put my children first?

Epic Fail

I totally fail at posting on my blog. I didn't finish my things I was grateful for and I haven't been updating on my family. Once again, I'll try to do better. I'm not going to try to catch up on everything, though. There hasn't been that much going on anyways. Mostly just regular days with 2 kids.

Thursday was Joseph's 2nd birthday. Aunt Marianne kindly let us use her basement for a party and we had a great time. The theme was Blue's Clues. Pam, Dutch, Samantha, and Athena all came to the party along with Aunt Marianne, Annemarie, and Julianna. It's so fun that Joseph is 2 now. Here are some pictures:

Pin the Paw on Blue

Mitchell made the awesome banner

Having fun


Blowing out the candle

His 2 cakes that Mitchell and I made

I'm Thankful For...

Speakerphone.

Why? Because I've been able to sit on hold with Medicaid for the past hour and I don't have a stiff neck. And because Joseph can talk to his grandmas and uncles and aunts and cousins. And because I can talk to my mom while I'm doing stuff (except I haven't done that for a long time because Joseph cries for the phone and won't let me).

I'm Thankful For...

My awesome new background made by my cousin, Heather.

Thanks Heather! I love it!

My visiting teachers.

Trouble Being Thankful...

I have to admit that I've been having trouble being thankful the past few days. And it all has to do with money, specifically the lack of money. I've been worrying a lot lately because we don't have any money and there are things that we could really use. Now that Annabelle is here, I have to go back to my old wardrobe, a lot of which is now too small or is not nursing friendly. And Mitchell, Joseph, and I don't have very good winter wardrobes because it didn't get that cold in Virginia. It wouldn't be as big of a deal, except that we have to pay for every load of laundry that we do and it's getting really expensive. And we are suddenly needing to buy WAY more diapers and wipes. I don't even know how we are going to make it to the end of the month. It's seeming very unlikely that we'll be able to buy each other Christmas presents. I don't know what to do... but I can't keep worrying.

I am thankful for Popi and his help which we wouldn't survive without.

I am thankful that we are able to get food stamps, so at least we have PLENTY to eat.

I am thankful that the children have insurance and that I will for about a month longer.

I'm Thankful For...

the Baby Dash N Go carrier that we were able to buy with baby shower gift money.

Annabelle has started to get a little fussier in the past few days. It takes her a while to calm down after she's eaten and she needs lots of rocking. I don't have a rocking chair and I also need to get things done in my house. So now I have the carrier that I can put her in. It usally rocks her to sleep after a bit if I walk around enough. And I have my hands free to get some things done. She's still a little small in it, but it works out okay.

I'm Thankful For...

Not having to pay my heating bill.

It's so nice to sit in my warm apartment and watch the snow falling. It's also nice that BYU pays my heating bill.

Joseph and I went for a short walk. It was cold, but it was still really fun. He just enjoys being outside so much.

I'm Thankful For...

the desire that Mitchell and I both have to become better people.

I always love it when I've been thinking about something in my life that needs to change for the better and then I find out that Mitchell has been thinking the same thing. I'm so grateful for how well our marriage works. We really do make each other want to be better people. I'm so blessed to have such an amazing husband and a great marriage.

Sunday Clothes

First of all, this is my 100th post!

Now for some pictures.

Joseph ready to go to church.

Annabelle in a dress that I wore!

I'm Thankful For...

Home Teachers who bring me the Sacrament when I'm homebound.

We are trying to follow the advice of our children's doctor, so I won't be taking Annabelle to church until she is 6 weeks old. It's really wonderful that the home teachers are able to bring me the Sacrament. When I was having my leg surgeries, I missed a lot of church. I was just too weak or in too much pain to go to church most of the time. But not once in all those years was I brought the Sacrament. I'm just so grateful that my bishop and my home teachers realize how important it is to me.

Along with not taking Annie to church, we are supposed to avoid having visitors or visiting people who haven't had flu shots or a recent Pertussis booster. We have to keep her covered with a blanket whenever we go to the store or anything. But I can take her outside for short periods of time as long as she is dressed warmly enough. We weren't given any of this advice when Joseph was born and he was born in the winter, too. But I think we were blessed that he didn't get sick. I've been doing a lot of research and the flu, RSV, and Pertussis are all on the rise right now. Those illnesses will probably just make us feel miserable, but they would hospitalize and possibly kill Annabelle. It scares me a little to think that I didn't know any of this when Joseph was born. None of us had flu shots or anything and we started taking him to church and everything immediately. Some people would say that since nothing happened to him, then nothing would happen to Annabelle, but I don't want to take that risk. Heavenly Father will protect us, but He expects us to use our common sense and to listen to the knowledge of those around us. It will be nice once she is 6 weeks old, though, because we won't have to worry as much. And she'll be able to get her first Pertussis shot in January, so that will be nice, too.

I'm Thankful For...

My hilarious toddler making me laugh when I feel stressed out.

Mitchell put on Joseph's old favorite music video, Rock With You by Michael Jackson. Joseph just started dancing and singing and having so much fun. It was really funny and cute to watch.

Adjusting

I've been so terrible about blogging lately. It is pretty difficult when I only have 1 hand for typing because it takes twice as long. And I'm also not great at thinking of good things to post right now. I do have a lot of things to be grateful for, but life is still a bit difficult right now. I'm not used to 6 hours of sleep per night, Joseph has become crankier and naughtier lately, my house is a DISASTER, and I have no idea how to keep up with all of my responsibilities. I forgot how hard it is to adjust to a new baby and it's harder because we have to help Joseph adjust.

I'm going to try to follow everyone else's example and post something I'm thankful for everyday. I'll catch up today.

1. I'm grateful that Annabelle isn't colicky like Joseph was.
2. I'm grateful for my friend, Jessica, in our ward because she watches Joseph so often and her kids enjoy it as much as he does.
3. I'm grateful that it's already been 2 weeks since Annabelle was born; it feels good that time isn't dragging during this difficult period.
4. I'm grateful for fall because it's absolutely my favorite season.
5. I'm grateful that my mom was able to come for such a long visit last month.

She's Here!

Annabelle Elizabeth Ellis was born on 10/22/10 at 6:56 pm. She was 6 lbs. 14 oz. and 18.5 in. long. We were only at the hospital for 3 hours when she was born. It was a very fast labor and delivery, especially compared to Joseph. We came home from he hospital late last night. I;m very tired, but we are doing good. I can post more details later. I'll be posting pictures later, too, but Aunt Marianne will post some til then.

Baby Stuff

We went to Babies R Us and put stuff on our baby registry today. I think it's so fun to look through all the stuff and scan it in. I was very conservative in what we added to this registry (unlike Joseph's) and only added things that we really need or would use a lot. The sad part about making a baby registry is knowing you probably won't get anything on the list. So, when I made it this time, I thought, "Well, even if I get a very similar item, that will still be good. In fact, if I get anything at all it will be good." I forgot how expensive it is to have a baby. Especially when you leave most of your stuff behind. A lot of the stuff we got for Joseph was old and not in great condition, so we decided it wasn't worth bringing. Now we don't have a lot of stuff. Plus having a girl makes a difference because most of the gifts we were given with Joseph were very boy-ish. I'm very grateful for what we do have: the clothes my mom got that should last the first 3 months, the bassinett Aunt Marianne is letting us borrow, the car seat and stroller that we were able to buy, etc. I think I have a problem with wanting stuff. I just like having cute things, but I'm learning to be grateful for what we do have. I need to be fine with Annabelle using boy towels and boy washcloths and boy bibs because that's what we have.

Okay, I need to stop rambling. I'm feeling kind of depressed today. I think it's because I'm tired and sore and just ready to have this baby. It's funny because I'm not even due until Halloween, but the past 2 weeks have been very difficult. I'm so sore that I can hardly walk some of the time. And it's just emotionally draining because I don't know what day she's going to come. I hope it's soon, though. I don't know how much more I can take.

I'm sorry this is a depressing post. Maybe tomorrow I can do something happier.

More Normal

I went and saw my doctor yesterday because I was a little worried. I'd been having a lot of cramping and contractions Monday night. But I didn't dilate anymore through all of that pain, so...

I've decided I'm actually going to start getting some stuff done. I'm still taking my terbutaline regularly because he said not to stop that until Saturday, but I'm going back to an almost normal schedule. I'm not going to work out or do any really intense cleaning, but I'm going to just ignore most of the contractions I have because I'm not having the baby yet. I think I'll know now when it's really happening. I'll probably just have to wait until my water breaks again.

Pregnacy Update - 3

I've been reacting pretty badly to the Terbutaline that the doctor prescribed me. My heart was pounding so hard (my heart rate was in the 110-120 range for about 6 or 7 hours yesterday) that I was having chest pain and the tremors were so bad I couldn't do anything (I almost cut of my finger trying to slice some tomatoes). So I called the doctor to ask if I could have something different. It turns out there was a miscommunication somewhere and the amount that was written on the instructions on the bottle was an overdose of the medication. Yesterday I took over 4 times the amount I should have. So now I'm taking the correct dose and things should be a lot better. I might even be able to get out of bed and do some stuff. I'm not actually on bed rest, I'm just supposed to take it easy, but the effects of the medicine have kept me in my bed almost constantly. The doctor said that I only have to take the medicine until a little before the 10th. So I'm just going to press on and pray that things will get easier.

Pregnancy Update - 2

We spent an hour and a half in the hospital last night because I was contracting every 7-8 minutes. And I blame it all on Walmart.

We went to Walmart to pick up my prescription. When I dropped it off, they said it'd be ready in an hour and a half. It's kind of far to Walmart from our apartment, so we decided to just wander around until it was ready, slowly of course. We finally go to pick it up and they tell us they don't have it in stock and won't have it until tomorrow at 12:30. So we'd just spent all that time in Walmart for no reason.

Later in the evening, we are watching some X-Files and I start contracting. I didn't have my medication to stop the contractions, so I just try resting and relaxing. After an hour or so of regular contractions, we finally decided that it would be best for us to go into the hospital. I accidentally called our neighbors thinking their number was the doctor's number and they had us take Joseph over there. Luckily, everyone at the Utah Valley Hospital works very quickly and is very nice. That was the shortest and most pleasant hospital visit we've ever had. They gave me a couple shots of Turbutaline and my contractions stopped. But that hour of contractions dilated me about another cm so I'm now 2 1/2 cm dilated.

We went back to Walmart and picked up my prescription this afternoon. It's working, but I hate the side effects. The medicine gives me really bad tremors and makes me very out of it. I don't know how I'm going to survive the next 2 weeks if I'm going to be taking this regularly. Lots of prayer, I think.

So please keep me and the baby in your prayers. Hopefully, everything will work out fine. I'm just going to put my trust in Heavenly Father's judgement on what's best for me and the baby.

Pregnancy Update

Alright, I'm back from my appointment. Not the greatest news, but not totally horrible.

I'm 1 1/2 - 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. The good part is that I was the same thing with Joseph for like 6 weeks and he didn't come early, in fact it took pitocin for him to be born. But I was on strict bed rest for those 6 weeks. My doctor didn't tell me that I needed to be on strict bed rest, but he did say I have to take it easy for the next 2 weeks. And I have a presription for some medicine to help stop the contractions.

I'll make sure to keep all of you updated on how I'm doing. Right now, I'm having contractions. So, I'm going to Walmart to get my prescription to stop them.

A Little Worried

So late on Saturday night, I started having fairly frequent and painful contractions for about an hour or 2. I went to bed, hoping I just needed rest.

Yesterday morning, I woke up and started getting ready for church. But within a few minutes of getting up, I started feeling crampy and feeling a lot of pressure. I layed down until it was time for church. I decided to try going to church, but I only made it through the Sacrament before I knew I should be at home in bed. As we walked home from church, I literally felt like I had to keep my legs clenched shut to keep the baby in. It was a really strange feeling. I spent all day yesterday in bed. Even just getting up to use the bathroom would start the cramping again.

So this afternoon I am going in for an appointment to see if all of this cramping has dilated me at all. I'm hoping that I'm just being to sensitive or something like that. I don't want to have to worry about anything for the next few weeks. I'll try to remember to post what I find out later today so that no one starts worrying.

Busy, Busy, Busy

I've been so busy this week. I've been trying to do some deeper cleaning in the house and I've also been trying to get everything organized and ready for the baby. I'm 35 weeks along now. I'm just getting so close to being done. We're excited for the baby and I'm excited to not be pregnant anymore. I've been feeling like she'll be born on or around the 21st. We'll see what happens, though. I can feel my body getting more ready for labor with more frequent contractions and such. I feel like she's taking over my whole body and there's no more room for her to fit in there.

I need to go get ready for church. I just wanted to write a short post about what's been going on this past week. I need to try and make more time for posting this week...

I'm Finally Back!

I can't believe it's been nearly 3 months since I posted. I guess I have to apologize. I finally realized that not only am I not doing something relaxing and enjoyable, but I'm keep all of my family and friends out of the loop on what is going on with us. So I'm going to try to go back to posting at least every other day.

We just spent a wonderful 2 days in Manti with Popi and Doreen. It was the first time that Mitchell and Joseph met them. We just had so much fun and didn't want to leave last night, but we are speaking in church today.

Joseph has thrown up twice now, once at 3:00 AM and once at 9:00 AM. I have no idea why he's throwing up. He doesn't have a fever and, once the inital shock of throwing up is over, he's just fine. He's dancing to the Wiggles right now. I don't know if it's okay for me to take him to church, even if it's just Sacrament Meeting. I wouldn't want him throwing up all over the chapel, but Mitchell and I are both supposed to speak.

I'm actually kind of excited about my talk. I used to love giving talks, but the past few years, I've dealt with anxiety that makes me feel really sick when I have to do something like that. Being at Popi's gave me so much peace of mind and I was able to write a wonderful talk. I'm speaking on Seeking Personal Revelation and using Sis. Beck's talk from the April 2010 General Conference as my resource. I feel like Heavenly Father wanted me to speak on this specific topic because it's something that I really need in my life right now. I'm terrible about unconciously filling my life with distractions so that I can't hear promptings and whispers from the Holy Ghost. Preparing for this talk has helped me realize this and now I can work on changing it.

I'm excited to be a blogger again and I'm going to try really hard to keep at it! Now I have to get ready for church.

Update

I'm already worn out from the day and it's only 2! I've been doing laundry like crazy, trying to catch up. I also cleaned our very messy living room. Joseph and I went for a walk for about 30 minutes. And the heat index is 97 degrees today. I'm too tired to think of anything else to write. We have made a lot of progress on packing. And things are good.

Packing and Fun Pregnancy Stuff

Mitchell stayed home from work yesterday and we cleaned and packed most of our office. We have 6 packed boxes and 2 that are almost full. He also cleaned our living room carpet with a carpet cleaner we borrowed from a family at church. It had so many stains and it looked horrible even though it's only 3 or 4 months old. Now it looks beautiful again. Our place is back on the market. We haven't had anyone come look at it, but I'm not expecting us to. For some reason, the realtors don't like showing properties that have people living in them. Stupid, huh? I guess it's okay for now, because only the living room and dining/office look nice right now, the rest is a disaster.

I'm 22 weeks along now. And I'm dealing with lots of fun pregnancy symptoms like heartburn, leg cramps, weird skin issues, fatigue, memory loss, abdominal cramps (it's almost like having my period!)... not to mention (TMI alert!) the uti and yeast infections that I had at the same time. Yesterday, I said, "Why does being pregnant have to hurt so much?" Mitchell says, "Because that's what the Lord told Eve. There's a verse in the scriptures, do you want me to look it up and read it to you?" The last part was said a teasing/sarcastically. I love my husband, he's good at making me see the good/valuable side of things.

I'm feeling depressed today. I don't know why. It's frustrating.

Joseph has been driving me a little nuts lately. He's getting a molar, so that explains some of his behavior. He's very clingy and whiny. He's been pulling my hair a lot lately and climbing on my head if I'm sitting or lying down. He's been mostly refusing to eat anything. Yesterday, all he had for breakfast was a corner of a Poptart, lunch was 1 Ritz and 1 Frosted Mini Wheat, but he came around for dinner and had a couple tablespoons of brown rice and corn and half a Chick-Fil-A chicken strip. I think Mitchell got him to eat a couple blueberries and grapes, too. I really hope he decides to start eating again soon.

On a good note, I was right! I'm having a little girl! We're very excited. And this will be the first girl grandchild on Mitchell's side of the family, too.

I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I've written anything. I think part of my problem is that I think this isn't a big enough priority, so I do other things instead. I haven't really been allowing myself very much computer time, lately. The thing is that blogging and journaling have always been therapeutic and relaxing for me. So I'm going to try harder to remember to post. But things are pretty busy right now.

We went to Georgia to visit Mitchell's dad and brother on the first weekend of the month. We had a really great time there, especially Joseph. I took a few pictures that I'll try to post eventually.

We have an apartment in Provo now. It's in the BYU student housing. We just paid the deposit on it this week.

I'm 20 weeks along in the pregnancy and this afternoon, we'll be finding out if the baby is a boy or a girl.

We should be leaving in about 4 weeks or so. I only packed my first box last night. But I've been cleaning out drawers and closets and posting things on craigslist.org. I'm probably going to try to organize a yard sale in a few weeks.

Liz will be getting here in a couple weeks to help me with packing and Joseph. She'll be driving halfway with us. We'll leave her in Texas and she'll fly back to Idaho from there. I know she's going to be a lot of help.

Joseph is moving from the sweet baby stage to the tantrum-throwing, trouble-making, picky, cranky toddler stage. He's also getting another molar this week, which is making it even worse. He's 18 months old today. We just got back from his appointment. He's still in the 3rd percentile, which is really worrying his doctor. We just have to keep trying to fatten him up.

Alright, I still have to finish eating and take a shower before my ultrasound. Life seems to be getting busier everyday. I can't wait for the trip out to Utah and I can't wait to see family and friends.

The Baby

Mitchell's family all think the baby is going to be another boy. I still think the baby is going to be a girl. I can't wait until we find out, which should be really soon.

My first appointment will be on the 9th. I'll be 19 weeks pregnant, almost half-way! I'm annoyed that FAMIS had made it so difficult for me to get the insurance, but everything seems okay now.

Mitchell's sister, Sara, had her friend, Emily, visiting over the weekend. On Sunday, Emily did this "muscle test" on me. She asked my body questions and then tried to push my fingers apart. According to her test, I'm having a boy. But I still don't agree. Only 2 or 3 more weeks and we'll finally know for sure!

I'm not saying that I don't want a boy. I'm fine either way. But I do really want a girl and I do feel like this baby is girl. Although, if we had a boy, we wouldn't really need anything more than we have.

Words

Here are some of the words that Joseph can say now. Apparently, he decided that talking was more important than walking and he figured out a lot of words before he would start walking.

• Ball (the most used, besides "No" which I'm not counting)
• Light (second most used, he's obsessed with them)
• Kitty (pronounced with a "T", of course)
• Hi
• Bye-Bye
• Up
• Down
• Milk (which sounds more like "nook" and is used for any time of drink)
• Da-Da
• Cup (except he says it "upc")
• Book (mostly without the "B")
• Thank-you (Tay-To)
• Shower (Just the first syllable is said)
• Outside (which is said Ow-side)
• Eye (he pokes me in the eye when he says this)
• Nose (he tries to stick his fingers in my nose when he says this)
• Shoes
• Socks
• Soft

Some less often used words are:

• Door
• Blue
• Red
• Bear
• Apple
• Woof-Woof (SUPER cute when he says it, which is when he sees dogs or any animal closely resembling a dog)
• Duckie
• Ears

That's all that I can remember right now, but I'm probably forgetting a few. He's gotten so good at communicating that nobody cares it took him a long time to walk anymore. He's pretty much got the walking down, though.

Random Stuff

I feel like my life is too boring to post anything. We really don't that much.

We got a free dining table with chairs from our old Bishop yesterday. I love the table, but I plan on reupholstering the chairs some day. Maybe my mom can help me out because she's done it and I never have.

It rained a lot this week. Monday was awful because we had a bunch of errands to run and the sky was dumping water out at a crazy rate. We got really soaked.

Mitchell accidentally missed his graduation. We read the letter wrong and thought it was last night, but it was on Friday night. Luckily, he wasn't incredibly excited about going. He says the only graduation he's ever been to is his kindergarten graduation. I'm sure that we'll go when he graduates from BYU. And we'll read the letter correctly then, too.

Sunday was our last day in Nursery. We're being released for 2 reasons. 1) We're moving in 2 months and 2) the activity is getting hard for me because, in the words of Mitchell, I'm a weenie at being pregnant. His brother says it's takes a baby to make one.

Joseph is getting way better at walking. He walks 80% of the time at home and 60% of the time at church. He still crawls when he's outside, though.

I'm obsessed with Mercedes Lackey's Elemental Masters series. I told Mitchell they are the perfect subject for me: magic, fairy tales, historical fiction. They are quite tame on the side of language and other such things, which is especially good with most authors now.

That's all I can think of for now. Tomorrow I'll try to post a cute video of Joseph talking to my mom on the phone. It's his new favorite pasttime.

Too Long

It has been way too long since I've posted. It's partly laziness, partly Joseph interference, and a little bit business that has kept me from posting. I decided that if I didn't post now, I probably wouldn't for another week.

Mitchell is done with school, yay! His graduation is next Tuesday. He will be graduating Summa Cum Laude, which is awesome. He accidentally forgot to take the final exam for his online Art History course, but he did so well in his other classes that he still had a 3.895 GPA.

He also quit working at Cal'z and is back at Chick-Fil-A full-time. They finally promoted him, so he's making more money and he has a little more responsibility. He doesn't hate going to work and he has friends there that he likes talking with, so it's been good for him.

We suddenly have tons of freetime and we've been at a loss for what to do with ourselves. Mitchell never gets off later than 2, so we have the afternoon and evening with nothing planned.

We took Joseph to the park one evening and he loved going down the slides with Mitchell. He didn't really like the swing, though. He liked crawling around in the grassy areas looking for flowers, too.

Joseph is finally getting better at walking, although he'll only walk at home. Everywhere else, he crawls. I think it's a comfort thing. He's still really wobbly and falls frequently. He curls his toes under and splays his feet out funny when he walks. He's also so excited to be walking that he loses his balance easily.

He was REALLY sick last week. He had a fever hovering between 103 and 104 for 3 or 4 days. He threw up a few times when the fever was really high. He lost weight because he didn't want to eat, which was bad because he's already underweight. He finally recovered, though, and is just fine now.

I'm going to be 17 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Because of multiple difficulties with the Medicaid people, I still haven't gone in to the doctor for an appointment. Right now, I just have to find a paystub that mysteriously disappeared and then things should be in order so that I can go to an appointment. By then I might be far enough to find out if the baby is a boy or girl!

Well, that's the basics of what's been happening around here. I'm going to try harder to post every day. I'll use the time while Joseph is eating his breakfast more wisely.

Depressed

Like everyone else, I don't like blogging when things aren't great. But if I don't, I internalize everything and blow it way out of proportion.

I'm super depressed today. It's been slowly getting worse over the past week or so. I'm not sure what to do. Maybe I should go up on my medication.

I'm supposed to go to church in a few minutes. I've been dreading it all day. For some reason, when I'm really depressed, church is EXTREMELY stressful for me. Being around all those happy people that keep asking me how I'm doing really freaks me out. Sometimes I will even have minor panic attacks during Sacrament Meeting.

Mitchell was scheduled to work this morning/afternoon for some stupid reason. Which means I have to wrestle with Joseph on my own and I won't have his support in Nursery. There is only 3 of us with about 10 or so rambunctious kids (at least 3 need special one-on-one attention to survive the 2 hours) and without Mitchell it will be 2 of us. I regret that I have little confidence in our new leader. It took her 2 months of spending Nursery with us every week before she even remembered who we were. Even now if I call her, it takes her a few minutes before she remembers who I am.

Basically, I'm not ready or excited about the rest of this day. I just want to stay curled up on the couch all day long and maybe eat some chocolate.

Herb Class

Yesterday, I went to a Relief Society Activity that was about growing and using herbs. It was good and bad.

The Good:
The sister who taught it made some awesome recipes using fresh herbs. We had crackers with Artichoke-Herb Cream Cheese spread, cantaloupe with a mint-citrus dressing, shrimp with cilantro-mayonnaise dip, and chocolate mint-infused water. It was all so delicious. I learned a lot and I got to bring home a little basil plant and a tomato plant. Now I just have to get pots and soil for them.

The Bad:
The class was during the time Mitchell is at school, so I had to bring Joseph. I found out when we got there that children weren't really invited. At first he was really good, but then he got bored. He was crawling everywhere, trying to get into stuff, and generally distracting everyone from the class. I had to go into another room for a little while because he was just so distracting. I felt really bad about it. But what else are the young mothers like me supposed to do? Not go to any classes? We have a lot of moms like me with young kids, but all of us have callings in Primary, and everyone in Relief Society is past the stage of having kids younger than 13. They seem to frequently forget what it's like for the rest of us. I can't get a babysitter when they have the class at 1 in the afternoon because everyone is in school at that time, except Joseph. They almost never have babysitting available at Relief Society activities, even though the Stake President has told them to a few times. They keep saying they'll do it, but they don't. It's really frustrating. Hopefully, my new ward in Provo will be better about this.

Old St. Patrick's Day Pictures

I don't have anything new to post about, so I'll post some old pictures.

Mitchell's St. Patrick's Day milk. He put green food coloring in it.

Joseph in his green shirt with his green milk. It's kinda hard to see, but I let him have green milk all day. He didn't really notice any difference, but it was still fun.

Giveaways!

I never do this, but I'm posting specifically for the giveaways on Cardigan Empire and Tatertots and Jello. I've been dying for a look book, but definitely can't afford one right now. It would be so awesome to actually win something because I NEVER do.

Early Morning

Mitchell had his friend, Peter, stay over last night to help him finish his cartoon for school. They were up until extremely late (I don't know the exact time) recording voices and sound effects. Lately, Mitchell has been sleeping on the couch and Joseph stays in the bed with me at night. It actually works out well because Mitchell prefers the couch, he thinks it's more comfortable and I'm not on it moving around and touching him. But since Peter was here, he slept on the couch. Mitchell slept mostly on the end of the bed last night, on my feet. It was an uncomfortable and long night. Mitchell had to go to work at 6 this morning. Peter woke me up at 7 wondering if he could take a shower. I wasn't planning on having an overnight guest, so we don't have any clean towels. He just went home to shower. But Joseph woke up because of the noise. I was totally hoping to get 2 more hours of sleep. Oh well, now we're awake and moving. Maybe these extra 2 hours will help me get some important stuff done.

Nightmares

I have been having nightmares almost every night, it seems. Saturday night I watched a few episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 1 (it used to be one of my favorite shows) and then I had nightmares all night. So I guess I brought that on myself. But last night I was having nightmares again. They were about everyone hating me when I get to Provo. And by everyone, I don't mean my family because I know you won't hate me. I mean all of my high school friends that are now going to BYU. My last year in Texas before I moved out here, I turned into a total jerk. I got a boyfriend and thought he was going to be the one I married. I stopped hanging out with my friends and I treated them all very rudely. I'm worried that when I get to Provo, none of them will want to try being friends again. And so I'm having nightmares about it. The only thing I can really do is wait and see what happens.

Why I'm Feeling Depressed

I figured out why I've been feeling depressed. It's because I'm stuck at home ALL the time. I usually only leave for church (where I spend most of it with small children incapable of intelligent conversation) and to go grocery shopping. And even when my husband is home, he is so insanely busy with school projects that I can't really talk or hang out with him. I really don't have any friends here in Virginia Beach and no one that I do know even lives close to us. It sucks having such huge ward boundaries. Most of the families with children Joseph's age live about 15-20 minutes away (driving). Mitchell graduates May 18, so I'll have more time to spend with him, but he'll still be working 50+ hours a week at his 2 jobs. I seriously cannot wait to get to Provo where I'll finally have friends and family to hang out with. And if we live in married housing, there will be lots of families with children for Joseph to hang out with. Only about 2 more months. I hope I can make it.

A Bit of a Slump

I've been feeling a little depressed and irritable the past few days. I think it's just hormones fluctuating and such from the pregnancy. Even if there's a valid reason, it's still annoying, for me and for Mitchell because he has to deal with my crankiness. I'm going to get out of the house and get some errands done, so maybe that will help me brighten up, although it looks like today might end up being rainy and I HATE running errands on rainy days. Man, this is turning out to be a depressing post.

So here are some funny pictures of Joseph. I believe this is actually Valentine's Day. He grabbed a pink, shimmery makeup stick off of the counter. I didn't think he could get the lid off. Then I found him like this. Teeth, lips, and hands covered in pink shimmery makeup. I learned from that experience.

Last Night

Well, I'm a little sad. Last night, Sister Julie Beck, the General Relief Society President, was here and gave a special fireside. Joseph decided to get ANOTHER ear infection and Mitchell had to work so I missed the meeting. It would have been so great! I bought myself a big box of Krispy Kreme donuts to enjoy. I spent the evening watching old episodes of Project Runway and eating donuts. I still have plenty of donuts left, so I'm excited about that. I can't eat 4 at a time like I used to in Seminary, now I can only do 1, sometimes 2. That makes a box of a dozen last a long time. And cake donuts don't get stale really quickly.

Middle Names Part 2

First, I want to thank everybody for their suggestions. It's fun getting so many responses. :)

Pam - Feel free to use Annabelle Ellis for a book, if you want.

Mom - I already want the name Emma Katherine for another daughter.

I think I've found the name that I want. It isn't one that was suggested. Actually, many that were suggested have already been "No'd" by Mitchell. I've decided I want to name the baby Anne Michelle. Mitchell says it sounds to much like Mitchell and we might as well make it Mitchell, but I told him I don't care. I just have the feeling that it's her name. She can just be named after her dad with the female version (although, that's not why I picked it, I just thought it sounded nice together).

Pasta for Lunch

Joseph decided that he was done with his pasta, so he put it away.

A Posting of Pictures

Joseph loves snuggling his stuffed animals. Those are 2 of his favorites. He woke up and crawled into his room to play. I heard cute little noises coming from there, so I looked in and saw him snuggling his little friends. He makes cute, squeaky noises when he's snuggling them.

My new haircut! It's a weird angle that Mitchell took it from and my face looks greasy, too. But my haircut is amazing! I love it. It's the first haircut I've had in almost 2 years. It was so nice to get all the dead ends cut off. I went to a salon that's really close to our house. When I walked in, about 20 black ladies were staring at me as if to say, "What do you think you're doing in here?" I stayed and ended up getting the best haircut I've ever had. She even curled it for me!

Modeling the yoga pants Mitchell got me for our Anniversary. I love them! I would wear them everywhere if I could.

Mitchell with his Anniversary present from me. It's a towel. He laughed so hard when he opened it. It's the perfect gift for him. We use very unconventional terms of endearment for each other, including Butt Face. Mitchell's family hates it, and the funny thing is I don't remember why we started doing it, but we have fun with each other and it works for us. We're starting to stop, though, because we don't want Joseph to think it's okay to use those names with other people. I know it's weird. We ARE weird.

My Biggest Regret and Greatest Desire

I am not feeling very happy this morning. My dreams last night have put me in a sort of depressed mood. On a regular basis, I have bad dreams about my self-perceived failure to get an education. In the dreams, I am usually at a school with an extremely heavy load, but I only go so some of my classes and I never do any homework. I'm also usually repeating my 12th grade year in high school.

My dreams are a skewed version of reality. I was homeschooled my senior year because I was having multiple major surgeries that made it impossible for me to leave the house. I didn't even do very much homeschool work because the combination of the healing process, the pain, and the drugs made me very tired and my brain very slow. I got my GED when I was finished with the surgeries. I didn't have any trouble with that at all. But school has always been very important to me, so I didn't ever feel like I really graduated. When I was finally done with all the surgeries (it nearly 3 years), I decided I could try to do some college work. Popi gave me money to enroll in some online BYU courses. Stupidly, I chose 4 very heavy classes. 16 credits after 3 years of no school is not a smart idea. When I started the classes, I was staying at my aunt's house in Reno. Those 2 months are the most serene and peaceful of my whole life. I was doing great on my classes and I felt so good about them. Then my life got crazier than it had ever been in my whole life. Within the next year I: had my wisdom teeth out in 4 separate and painful appointment, got dry socket and an infection, got engaged, moved across country, got married, got pregnant and ridiculously sick with the morning sickness, moved across country again, became really depressed, and had a baby. Because of all the turmoil and upheaval, I didn't finish my classes. It has become one of the things I most regret in my life. I'm constantly dreaming about that failure.

Now I have a 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I feel like it will be a decade or so before I'll finally have the chance to go to college. The hardest part is that going to college was one of the biggest dreams I had growing up. I miss learning so much! I feel kind of stuck right now. I thought about doing one of the free BYU courses, but I can't afford to buy the required reading. I sometimes get jealous of Mitchell because he's going to school and having a great time learning all these things that he's always wanted to. He gets jealous of me because he's so busy and I'm not at all. I don't know what to do with myself. My brain feels like it's starving.

Book Reviews

I'm going to review my first 10 books, so that if anyone is interested they can read them, too.

1. The Fellowship of the Ring - Recommended: Yes. I really liked reading this. I never attempted it when I was younger and finally decided to. I liked a lot of the stuff that wasn't included in the movies. I'm struggling to finish Two Towers, though (I've been working on it since January). I always have a hard time with the movie, too. I think that the part with Sam and Frodo travelling is so boring.

2. Pyramids - Recommended: Yes! I LOVE Terry Pratchett. Mitchell introduced me to his books when we got married. He's one of the only authors that Mitchell will read because it has to be really captivating to get his attention. Terry Pratchett is sarcastic and cynical in a hilarious way. His books are parodies of our world and they are so great. I recommend starting with The Color of Magic first because it is the first book. And just like Harry Potter, the first 2 or 3 chapters can be hard to get through, but once you do, it's worth it.

3. Enchantment - Recommended: No. It was an interesting retelling of the Sleeping Beauty story and I liked that part. The reason that I don't recommend it is 1) the language and 2) lots of inappropriate parts, to put it delicately. I think it ruined the book even more for me because I know that Orson Scott Card is a member of the Church. My sister-in-law actually works for him and is best friends with his daughter. She's gone to Sacrament Meeting with him! He should know better.

4. A Telling of the Tales - Recommended: Sure, if you like fairy tales. It was a lot of short stories about different fairy tales and tall tales. I like the style of the author. I thought the Sleeping Beauty re-telling was funny. And I really liked reading the stories about Paul Bunyan and John Henry.

5. Spindle's End - Recommended: Yes. It was great! I just really liked the way it was written. I liked the way that magic was portrayed. I liked the ending.

6. Bobbi Brown Beauty - Recommended: Yes. It's the first of her books, and if you were only going to read one, I'd recommend the most recent one, but it's still really good. It has a lot of tips and tricks that the other ones don't have.

7. Never After - Recommended: Yes. It was hilarious. It pulled together many different fairy tales and put funny spins on them. The only part I didn't like was the names of the characters. Many of them seemed like tongue twisters. Even if I'm not reading it out loud, I'm still reading it in my head and I don't want to constantly stumble over names.

8. Kissing the Witch - Recommended: No. I didn't like it at all. I don't even know why I finished it. It was interesting because the author tied together many different fairy tales, but other than that I hated it.

9. Untold Tales - Recommended: Yeah. Another collection of short stories. All of the fairy tales were given a funny twist and then tied together in the end.

10. Bobbi Brown Beauty Evolution - Recommended: Yes. Her second book. I like that she includes a chapter for all the different decades of ages, all the way up to 70 years! And she has a good chapter on pregnancy.

Joseph is a Rock Star

Joseph LOVES to dance. He also loves rock music. Since before he was born, that has been his music of choice. He used to dance in my belly when Mitchell would play his music. Yesterday, Mitchell was listening to something and Joseph started dancing all crazy. It was really cute.


Some of his favorite music includes (Don't feel obligated to watch all of these. I know that this is not the musical taste of many of you. Joseph has his daddy's taste in music):

Yngwie Malmsteen

Steve Vai

Michael Jackson (his favorite is Rock With You, but I can't get a video)

Queen

Deep Purple

and Europe

Triple Threat

Yesterday was Easter, General Conference, and our 2nd Anniversary! Mitchell said it was a triple threat. I'm going to separate each part to make it easier.

Easter:

Mitchell had a basket set outside the bedroom door and eggs and things hidden around the room for Joseph when he woke up. He had a great time finding the eggs. He was shaking them and then figured out how to open and started throwing the candy around. Later in the afternoon, I fell asleep without picking up all the candy and he figured out how to eat it, so all evening he was on a major sugar high and crawling around the house like a maniac. I had to give him a bath because he was so sticky. We had lunch with Mitchell's mom and sister between sessions and it was really nice. It was a really good Easter. One of the things we got Joseph is a board book of the first Easter. It's really beautiful and it will be wonderful to read every year.

Coming out to find his sheep and basket.

Finding his Easter book.

His first egg.

Trying to pose with the monkey that Grandma Pyle gave him.

2 more eggs.

General Conference:

We went to the church to watch the first session. It was so wonderful. I think my favorite talk was President Uchtdorf's. I also noticed that many talks over the weekend included a lot about the importance of families, teaching your children, and being a good parent. I liked that. My family is the most important thing to me. We had to leave towards the beginning of President Monson's talk because I suddenly started having a really bad allergy attack and my throat was swelling up. I still don't really know what caused it. The 2 Benadryl I had to take kicked in when the second session started, so I unintentionally slept through the whole thing. We'll watch the talks we missed as FHE lessons.

Anniversary:

We like to follow the gift list for anniversaries just because it makes it fun. The 2nd anniversary is cotton. So Mitchell got me 2 pairs of Victoria's Secret yoga pants that I've been wanting. They are black with a color on the waistband; one pair is hot pink and the other is purple leopard print. I love them, I'm even wearing a pair right now. They are so comfortable, too. For some reason, the gift I got him wasn't shipped until 3 days after I bought it, so it's not here yet. I'm annoyed because I payed extra so it would get here in time. I'm probably going to call and get my money back. I'll post of picture of it after he gets it, in case he saw my blog beforehand. We broke the Sabbath and went out to eat dinner together. We went to Yukon Steakhouse, which is a place his dad used to take them on some Sundays when he had them for the weekend. We had a good time and I was glad I didn't have to cook because I was still out of it from the Benadryl. We watched a movie together when we got home. It was a really good anniversary. We always have so much fun buying each other gifts. I know we'll have fun next year, too. And maybe our anniversary won't be on a Sunday.

Hide And Seek

This is Joseph's favorite way to play hide and seek, with Daddy's hats. Once, he put it on and then started crawling around. He ran right into the closed bathroom door. He was surprised, but started laughing because I was laughing so hard.


He will also go sit behind something and then lean out and smile at me and then hide again. It always makes me laugh. I think he has the cutest smile ever, it's very infectious. If I'm in a bad mood and he smiles at me, it always makes me feel better.

Middle Names

I am 80% sure that I am having a girl. It's just a feeling. I knew Joseph was going to be Joseph from the very first of the pregnancy. I knew he was going to be born on the 16th nearly a month before he was born. And at the beginning of my labor, which was around 13 hours, I knew that he would be born around 4 AM (4:46 AM). So, I'm trusting my feelings for now and thinking that this baby will be a girl.

I already know that I want her name to be Anne. I've known that I would have an Anne since Mitchell and I were engaged. But Mitchell doesn't like the middle name that I wanted. I wanted Cordelia, but Mitchell and his brother, Ross, say it sounds like cornucopia too much. So I have no middle names. Mitchell wanted Annabelle, but we determined that Annabelle Ellis sounds awful.

Anyone have ideas?

Errands and an Anti-Nap

Mitchell doesn't have class on Fridays and Saturdays, so they end up being my errand days. He was exhausted when he got home from Chick-Fil-A because he had gone into work at 6 and hadn't gotten home from work the night before until 12-ish. So Joseph and I showered and dressed quickly so we could leave and Mitchell could take a nap. We went to Rite Aid and the library. There was supposed to be free donuts available at the church, so we went there and there was 1 very sad looking donut left. I ate it. Then we drove to the closest hospital so that Joseph could have his bloodwork done. When we got there, they said they didn't have any needles small enough for him. It was raining by then, so we just drove home. Joseph napped in the car.

Once we got home, we had some lunch and then I was exhausted so I decided to take a nap. Mitchell was watching a movie, so I told him to watch Joseph. After a few minutes, Mitchell came and laid down. Apparently, he hadn't been able to sleep earlier, so he hadn't have a nap. It turned out that Mitchell slept while I dozed and tried to keep Joseph out of stuff and stop him from beating me up. By the time Mitchell got up, I was even more tired, very annoyed, and I had a headache. That's why I call it an Anti-Nap.

I eventually recovered and got the kitchen clean and did some laundry. Overall, it was a pretty good day. I think today's going to be good, too. I'm just going to have to get used to Joseph's new early waking up (8:30 the past 2 days when it used to be 10!).

Long Walks and Housework

I can't even remember what I did yesterday morning, so it must not have been anything important. I think I just did stuff on the computer. I do remember that after Mitchell went to class, I kept smelling smoke while I was sitting at the computer. There's a bunch of repairmen fixing stuff around the complex, so I figured it was something they were doing. Then I turned around and saw a small fire outside of my front window. Somehow some of the woodchips in the area next to our apartment had caught on fire. They put it out and everything was fine, but it was a little scary at first.

Joseph and I showered and then we walked to Rite Aid, which is just down the street. I browsed at different beauty products until Joseph couldn't stand to be there any longer. Then we walked down to Food Lion. When I got home with the groceries, I learned that buying eggs and walking home with them is not a very good idea because 4 of them broke on the way home.

Because we were out walking during naptime neither of us got a nap. So Joseph actually fell asleep at 8, which is early for him. I was considering going to bed early, but Mitchell called me while delivering pizzas. He was frusterated because one of his managers had been really condescending and rude to him. I decided to clean up the living room (which looked like a train wreck) so that he would have something nice to come home, too. I went to bed at 10 when I couldn't stay awake any longer. I've been absolutely awful about housework the past week or so and it felt really good to get the living room clean.

I'm feeling pretty great today and the sun just broke through the clouds, so I think it's going to be a beautiful day. I'm planning on getting a lot of good stuff done today.

Who Are You Really?

I already posted today, but if I don't do this now, I won't do it, but I WANT to do it.

Favorite Color? Lavender and Red

Favorite Christmas? It was 2006. My step-dad, Marty, was on duty on his ship, the Bataan, on Christmas day, so we opened presents Christmas Eve, which also happened to be a Sunday. We had Advent that month for the first time that I could remember, reading articles from the Ensign, lighting candles, and drinking hot chocolate. Christmas Eve was great. We opened presents after church. I felt like everyone tried really hard to get presents that they knew would fit they person they were given, too. On Christmas Day, we ate dinner on the Bataan. It was pouring rain when we ran to the ship, but it was still really fun. I just remember it as a time when my family felt closer than ever.

Favorite Books? The Harry Potter books. They are the only books that I can read every year and not get bored of. I have lots of good memories of them, too.

Favorite Movies? Sleeping Beauty and Pride & Prejudice (the 2005 version; it's just so beautiful)

What Do You Collect? I used to collect Sleeping Beauty things, but it's been a few years since I've gotten anything new.

Guilty Pleasure? Playing The Sims 3. My dad got me The Sims 10 years ago when it first came out and I've been addicted since then. Until the past few years, I always bought every expansion pack and stuff pack that came out. So I guess I sort of collected that, too.

The Way You Would Spend the Day If You Could? It actually changes depending on my mood. Last night, I would have said: Reading on the couch with a big mug of milk and a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. Today, I'd love to spend the day outside. At the park, gardening, or at the beach or the zoo. Too bad it's Mitchell's busy day.

When Would You Have Lived If You Could? Probably end of the 40s & beginning of the 50s because of the music and the clothes and the relatively slower pace of life.

Something People Would Be Surprised to Know About You? I'm trying to think of something. I usually tell everyone everything about me. But my family who haven't been around me that past few years are reading this, I guess I can say stuff that I thought people knew. Probably my 2 biggest dreams are 1) to sing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and 2) to get a degree in Interior Design.

If You Could Travel Anywhere In the World, Where Would It Be? It might sound silly, but I have dreamt my WHOLE life of going to Disneyland and Disney World. When my hormones are crazy (i.e. PMS or pregnancy) I will actually cry if I see a Disneyland commercial because I want to go so badly.

Busy Morning, Lazy Afternoon

Okay, so yesterday morning was really busy for me. On most mornings, Joseph and I don't wake up until 9:30 or 10 and then we take our time eating breakfast. Yesterday, we had morning appointments and Mitchell was working at Chick-Fil-A, so we had to drive Mitchell to work at 5:15 in the morning. When we came back, I fell asleep before setting an alarm. We slept through our 7:45 WIC appointment. But we got up and ready to make it to Joseph's 15 month well-baby check-up just in time. The doctor was not happy about his progress. He's 15 months, but he's only 20 lbs. and 28 1/2 inches. He also isn't walking or even really trying to walk. So now I have to make sure to force feed him 4 full meals a day, add Pediasure to his diet, give him vitamins every day, get his blood checked for anemia, and take him to a specialist to see why he isn't walking and why he's "failing to thrive." Mitchell called asking to be picked up just as the doctor walked into the room. He was very patient and waited 45 minutes for us to get there.

Once we were home, I did nothing for the day. I was hungry and ate some almonds while trying to figure out something more substantial. Mitchell left for class and I ran into the bathroom and puked up all the almonds. That just seemed to ruin me for the rest of the day. I was exhausted, weak, and out-of-it for the rest of the day. I just read and Joseph played and did his own little things. When Mitchell came home, we went to Pizza Hut for dinner. And then we came home and went to bed early.

I think the rest was good because I'm feeling better today. I have this desire to garden, but I don't have anywhere that I can garden. Oh well, I'll just go for a long walk instead.

I'm not Martha Stewart...

Last night, I tried making some cupcakes that I got in a Martha Stewart email. While I was making them, I was also making dinner and feeding an uncooperative Joseph dinner. Mitchell invited our friends/old roommates, Aaron and Staci, over for dinner at the last minute, so I was also showering and straightening things up. They didn't turn out like her cupcakes. They were still pretty good, but not as cute as hers. I only had 2 jumbo egg whites instead of 3 large egg whites and I couldn't get them to beat into stiff peaks, I also didn't have the right decorating candies.

Dinner was still fun, even though Aaron and Staci didn't show up until an hour later because they were playing Final Fantasy VI and couldn't get off yet. I thought I was going to starve to death and I was annoyed because I had been rushing to shower and it took them FOREVER to get here. We ate and watched the new episode of House.

Today's been super busy already and it's only noon, but I'll post about all that tomorrow.

Exhaustion and Games

I'm tired. That's all the thought that my brain can really hold right now. My house is a huge mess, but it took me most of the day to work up the energy to clean any of it. My kitchen is semi-clean now (dinner last night messed up it's cleanliness) and there isn't a mountain of laundry on my bedroom floor. I think I'm going to have the same problem today. Exhaustion is weighing down all my muscles and aching in my bones and my brain is working at half-speed. I don't know if it's just being pregnant or if the change in the weather is affecting me (it went from being bright, sunny, and warm to gloomy, rainy, and cold on Sunday). I think all I plan on doing today is reading until it's time to make dinner for Mitchell and go to Ellen's for American Idol. Maybe a day of rest will help me feel better.

On a somewhat funny note, Mitchell's friend Peter came over last night to play a game with us. The funny part is the game. When I became a part of Mitchell's family, I learned that they like to play role playing games. Mostly they just play Star Wars the Role Playing game, but occasionally Dungeons and Dragons and other similar games. When all of his siblings are in town, we spend hours playing Star Wars. So last night, Peter came over to help us roll up characters for a game called HackMaster. I'm in the process of creating a Halfling Thief and Mitchell is a Human Warrior. Apparently, this is going to become a weekly thing. It's going to Mitchell's de-stresser until the end of the school semester. He's under a lot of pressure because it's his last semester before he gets his degree and now he's also working 2 jobs. So anyways, that was our FHE activity last night.

I'm Getting Too Distracted...

Okay, I've been doing an awful job of posting. And it's so funny because I'm actually having exciting things happening in my life. Mitchell finally started at Chick-Fil-A this morning, so I'm going to try to post in the mornings while I eat breakfast because the computer will be free and I tend to eat breakfast in front of the computer anyways (partly because the desk is our only table-like surface).

Here's a quick update of some of the things that have happened:

• We were able to have dinner with Aunt Becky and Uncle Clyde on St. Patrick's Day. It was really fun. Later in the evening, Mitchell insisted on going somewhere Irish to drink root beer because we don't drink real beer. The place he wanted to go to (Keagan's) had a line starting to wrap around the block. So we went to Kelly's Tavern and he ate a horrible Reuben with soggy french fries and I didn't eat my cheesecake because it was too disgusting.
• The weather turned BEAUTIFUL. It's been in the high 70s and low 80s the past few days, so we've spent a lot of time outside.
• Mitchell was accepted to BYU-Provo for the Fall semester!!! We are VERY excited. I can't wait to get out near family again.
• I started spring cleaning and got my desk cleaned and organized for the first time since we moved in. The rest of the house is a disaster, though. Mitchell says the house was cleaner before I started spring cleaning.
• I'm approximately 8 weeks pregnant and I have my first appointment this week. I'm still morning sick, but haven't thrown up for a while. I've had a few scares, though. I almost puked all over our tables at Logan's Roadhouse, Chick-Fil-A, and my mother-in-law's table when guests were over (these were all different days). Luckily, I kept it all in.

Well, that's all for now. I'm going to try REALLY hard to post tomorrow.

Morning Sickness is taking over my life!!

I don't really feel like posting, but I want to get back in the habit. To be truthful, I don't feel like doing anything. I do have a reason for that, though. In order to deal with my morning sickness, I'm taking half a Unisom and a Vitamin B6 twice a day. Since Unisom is a sleeping pill, I'm tired all day and night. I'm also wearing motion sickness bands on my wrists from the minute I wake up until it's time for bed. And I still throw up every morning! I would rather be tired than severely nauseated, though. When I was pregnant with Joseph, the morning sickness lasted until I was around 15 to 18 weeks pregnant. Hopefully, it won't last as long this time around. Mitchell is very understanding of my exhaustion and sickness. The past couple days, he's fed Joseph breakfast while I've been in the bathroom puking. He did his own laundry today. And he isn't complaining about my almost non-existent cooking and cleaning. I did clean the kitchen and living room yesterday, but they are already a distaster. And all my energy was spent grocery shopping today. The only thing I can think to do is push myself a little harder.

I hope this isn't too much of a downer. I'm not depressed or anything. I'm really just too exhausted to have any real emotions. One good thing is that I've been getting a lot of good reading time.

Excuses

I know it's been a long time since I've posted. I'm going to give you some excuses as to why I haven't. And it's not because nothing interesting has happened. In fact, it's been an eventful month.

Excuse #1 - I started trying to post a Best of 2009 List with pictures and it got complicated and messed up and then Joseph prevented me from finishing. It seemed too complicated so I kept procrastinating posting it and my linear mind wouldn't let me skip it and come back later.

Excuse #2 - Mitchell has a bunch of big projects for school that require him to spend a lot of time on the computer, so he's frequently using it.

Excuse #3 - We've been sick again with fevers, coughs, and congestion. Joseph's has turned into his 2nd ever ear infection. The funny thing is that the only 2 ear infections he's ever had have happened just since January.

Excuse #4 - We found out a couple weeks ago that I am expecting Baby #2. I've been exhausted, moody, and, just in the past week, morning (all-day) sick.

I'm about to fall asleep on the keyboard, but I decided to force myself to post or I probably never would. And Mitchell's drawing in his sketchbook right now, so the computer's free for once (it's Spring Break this week, so he's on the computer 90% of the day).

I'll have more updates when I'm not so exhausted.

Yes, I am a copier...

I'm borrowing Heidi's idea of keeping a list of the books that I read over 100 pages. I'm not going to set a specific number to read. I mostly just want to see how many books I read. Ever since Joseph, I haven't been reading as much. I can also share the fun books that I read with everyone.

Merit Badge Progress

First thing... on Thursday night after posting, Mitchell reminded me that my look-a-like is Amy Adams. I think if anyone was able to act as me, it would be her.



Second, a few months ago, I posted about a women's merit badge book that Mitchell gave me and the goal I'm working on. Well, this past weekend, I finally "shopped my closet". I also went through it again and got rid of all the clothes that don't fit right or that I feel ugly in. Now I don't have very many clothes. I'm not as small as I was before I got pregnant with Joseph, but I haven't really done much shopping since he was born, so I've been trying to squeeze into old clothes and I'm tired of feeling strangled all the time. Now I have a very long need/want list compiled. In order to get all of these things, I'm going to follow the steps in the book. First, I'm going to organize a clothing swap (I'm going to do it as a Relief Society/Young Women's activity). Then I'm going to window shop and look for the best deals on the things I need. Then I will slowly buy everything that I need. As side parts of the goal, I'm reworking my makeup techniques and I'm going to get a haircut. I'm trying to wear makeup more often and do my hair more often. If any of you feel like reading it, here's my shopping list:

• 4 short-sleeved everyday t-shirts
• 5 long-sleeved everyday t-shirts
• 2 pairs of jeans (and eventually 3 more to replace the ones I have that are too long for my legs)
• 1 black turtleneck sweater
• 1 jean jacket
• 1 "little black dress" (a modest version, of course)
• 1 suit, I want a pink houndstooth pattern with a skirt (I'm probably going to have to make it myself)
• 2 white shirts, 1 short- & 1 long-sleeved
• 1 fancy dress
• 6 pairs of exercise pants, 2 long & 4 short
• 4 long-sleeved exercise shirts
• 4 undershirts; pink, brown, navy blue, cream
• 1 black belt
• 5 pairs of capris or shorts
• 1 black purse
• 3 pairs of winter pajamas
• 2 pairs of summer pajamas
• 1 pair of knee-high boots
• something 40's or 50's inspired (there's a beautiful dress that I want to make to fulfill this, I want to do the long-sleeved version in red)
• something really brightly colored (maybe yellow, I've never had many yellow things)

The last 3 items are my style wishes that I chose as part of the goal; things that I've always wanted. The bold items are things that I've gotten already. It's kind of a lot and I'm not planning on getting it all right away. This Friday I'm going to the Sephora store and I'm going to play with all the makeup. It's going to be fun.

Just wondering, what are some of your style wishes?

Look-a-Like

I'm going to get in on the fun since everybody else is doing it. I've never really been told that I look like any celebrities, but Mitchell and I frequently discuss who would play us (and the people we know) in a movie made of our lives.

I have gotten Amanda Bynes a few times. There is somebody else that Mitchell and I decided would play me, but I can't remember who right now! I'll post it when I remember.

Mitchell has been told many times that he looks like Gene Wilder, especially when he lets his hair and sideburns grow out. He also has a crazy sense of humor like him.

Snow Days 2

I couldn't get the videos in the last post, so here they are.

Snow Days

Virginia Beach almost never gets snow. The last real snow that we had (meaning that it stuck and was more than 1/2 inch) was in 2004. But really early Saturday morning it started snowing and it kept snowing and snowing and snowing until we had around 8 or 9 inches! Mitchell had to work anyways (he was sick, too), but nothing bad happened even though he was driving a lot. All but Sacrament Meeting was cancelled on Sunday, but we didn't go because Mitchell was still sick and I didn't want to drive in the snow. School was cancelled on Monday, too. There's still snow on the ground, but it's finally starting to melt. I was reading a story in the newspaper about how the Boardwalk was plowed before any of the streets were. That's just plain stupid. I'm not going to say anything more about that because I'll get annoyed. We bundled Joseph up really well on Saturday afternoon and took him out to play for a few minutes. He loved it. He also loved eating it. Here's some pictures and a couple videos.

The view from our front door

Our car buried under snow

Joseph all dressed for the snow

Me setting Joseph down to play

Joseph trying to plow his way through the snow

The Sick House

We have been sick at our house for what seems like forever. That is a major part of why I didn't post for so long. Early on the morning of the 14th, I woke up to Joseph's burning hot forehead. His fever was about 102 degrees. I spent that whole day rocking and holding him. He didn't want to do anything. I could tell he felt very sick. I finally called and made an appointment because Tylenol wasn't even really putting a dent in his fever, but they soonest they had was for the next morning. He had no fever the next morning and was feeling much better. He was still a little congested and had a little cough. The doctor said it was probably just because he was cutting 4 teeth. That was on Friday. On Monday, I started to feel stuffy and really exhausted. By Tuesday morning I was definitely sick and Joseph was feeling sick again. We both continued to get more and more sick for the rest of the week. Friday and Saturday were the worst for me. Joseph started running a low fever on Saturday evening. Mitchell woke up Sunday morning with a cough and Joseph was still running a bit of a fever. I was starting to feel better, but we all stayed home from church. Joseph's cough kept getting worse and he continued to run a fever. He also had a lot of trouble sleeping. Mitchell stayed sick, but I got better. I finally called Joseph's doctor again on Tuesday and made an appointment for Wednesday morning. His cold had developed into an ear infection. We got some antibiotics. I'm all better now. Joseph is finally starting to get better. Mitchell was getting worse the past couple days, but he said he's starting to feel a little better now. He's out working in the snow now (the snow will be tomorrow's post), but luckily delivery driving isn't very physically trying. It's been pretty frustrating being sick for so long. It seems like it's been forever even though it's only been 2 weeks. But Joseph and Mitchell are finally on their way to being healthy again.

Fire!

One evening about 2 weeks ago, I unintentionally did something that upset Mitchell. Then he felt like I wasn't sincerely sorry because of something I said. And to top it all off, I was so exhausted that I fell asleep before we had worked things out all the way. The next morning, I put Joseph in his high chair with some food and some bacon in the oven (I think it tastes better that way, plus it's easier to cook). I realized that Mitchell was still really upset. I went into our room to have a very teary talk. The timer for the bacon went off, but I was so upset I didn't notice. After a couple minutes, Joseph started to yell because he wanted more food. Mitchell told me to go finish feeding the baby. When I walked into the kitchen, I saw bright orange flames in my oven and my baby was in his high chair less than 2 feet from the oven. I immediately started to panic. Mitchell came in and took control of the situation, but he was so distracted by my panic that he wasn't even thinking clearly. He grabbed some baby blankets to protect his hands, put a couple sweatshirts on, and pulled the baking sheet with the bacon out of the oven and carried out the front door. Then he poured a big pot full of water on the bacon. Steam and grease shot everywhere, but he was okay. He then remembered that you should never use water to put out a grease fire (it was a few hours later that he remembered that you should use baking soda). He got me calmed down and then we started trying to clean up. the oven was all black with smoke, the cabinet door across from the oven (which for some stupid reason is unfinished wood) soaked up lots of oil and is ruined, smoking hot grease dropped on our carpet and melted little spots into a trail from the kitchen from the door, and my beautiful baking sheet that I took extremely good care of because it was a Christmas gift was scorched and warped. We are going to have to replace the carpet and the cabinet. I have to line my baking sheet with foil everytime I use it. But are very blessed that I found the fire when I did and that no one was hurt. It was a very stressful and exhausting day.

The Best News Ever

A month ago, I posted about how our roommate put our apartment up for rent. I was devastated. I prayed and hoped and brainstormed trying to figure out ways to make things better. We didn't want to move back into my mother-in-law's. It would be very cramped and crowded there. So we started thinking about moving into my stepdad's. His renters were going to be moving out and he would have room. At the beginning of the month, our roommates started packing and moving out. I procrastinated. It drove them crazy, but I just did not want to leave. We kept discussing our options and decided against my stepdad's. It didn't feel right for our family at the time. We decided that we would move into my mother-in-law's and only stay until the apartment was rented out and then find a cheaper one that we could afford on our own. Our roommates moved out completely on the night of the 6th. As Aaron was leaving he made sure we would be out within a week. Mitchell and I stayed up very late discussing our options. And then we thought of an idea. What if I applied at Chick-Fil-A and worked in the mornings before Mitchell went to school? Then after more discussion the idea evolved into Mitchell deciding to go back and ask for his job back. If they hired him back, he'd have to well paying jobs and we'd be able to afford to stay in our apartment. We dragged our mattress into the empty bedroom and slept in our own bedroom for the first time in over a year (it was great!). Mitchell didn't sleep the entire night because he was going over all the possibilities of how the situation would go. Early in the morning, he went to talk to his friend, Cooper, who he'd worked with at Chick-Fil-A. And Cooper said that the managers would probably take him back because they needed someone with his knowledge. Later in the morning we went there and he talked to the manager, Jason. The store owner, Mr. Davis was at a funeral, so a decision couldn't be made immediately, but we'd find out within a couple days. The next 2 days were very nerve-wracking because our future depended on it. Finally, on Saturday, Mitchell went back in and Mr. Davis said he'd love to have Mitchell back and that they'd work him into the schedule as soon as possible! We worked things out with the realtor and got some help from a few family members for a new deposit and rent until Mitchell starts at Chick-Fil-A. We finally have our own place!! It's so amazing. We've been married for nearly 2 years and we've always lived with other people. Living here on our own is one of the greatest things that have happened since we've been married. Joseph finally has his own room and he's starting to learn to sleep on his own. I was able to wean him from nursing at night and we don't have to worry about making noise before noon because our roommates are sleeping. It's just so great and I could keep going about how great it is for hours, so I'm going to stop now. Just know that I'm extremely happy and eternally grateful for the way things have turned out.