Laundry

I washed a load of laundry by hand today. I filled up my tub, soaked the clothes about an hour, then rinsed and wrung out each piece of clothing. I think the second part took me well over an hour. And my muscles were aching so bad! While I was doing it, I kept thinking about my pioneer ancestors, and how things like that were just the way life was, and how I'm so soft compared to them. I also really wanted to watch Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, since Charlie's mom is a laundry woman. Another thing I was thinking as I was washing was that I didn't put any of Joseph's pants in that load, and he had NO clean ones. I didn't think I'd have the stamina to do another load. While Mitchell was hanging the laundry to dry for me, Amber came over and offered to take the wet ones home to dry and the pants to wash. Her visit was an answer to my prayers!

Debating

I have trouble focusing on multiple big projects because I prefer to put all my energy into one project at a time. Lately, I've been struggling between job hunting and home organization. We need some kind of income, which is why I've been trying to spend time looking for jobs, but I'm starting to feel pretty discouraged. My house is also in complete chaos because I just haven't had time and/or energy to take care of everything.

Part of me is feeling like I have to make a decision between the two options. This thought especially came up yesterday when I started brainstorming what I thought was an amazing idea, but now I'm just worried it's too complicated. I joined a website that helps you with service-type business with a pet care service. I was pretty excited thinking I could start pet sitting and dog-walking, and then I was thinking about eventually expanding to party planning, decorating, and other interests. But then I found out you have to pay to send quotes to the different job ads. So I lost my momentum...

I just don't know if I should continue to try dividing my attention, or if I should focus on one thing at a time. And should I try to pursue this pet business idea through different avenues? I don't know... Why do I have to be so indecisive?!

Off-Day

Today was an "off" day for me. I just felt moody and frustrated most of the day. I've been working really hard to be patient with myself, and with the Lord's plan, as we try to figure out what to do. We haven't had much come up in the way of work yet. Mitchell is on his last week/paycheck for the freelance indie game he's been working on. He has been asked to do some illustrations for a friend, so that will be great. But that's all. The only time someone seems interested in hiring me, it would cost more to work there than I'd be getting paid! So we keep applying and keep praying and something will happen when it's time.

On the good side, Joseph has been doing well in school. He's going to a martial arts class several times a week, and it's really helping him with his focus, respect, and discipline, as well as getting energy out. We had a great family home evening with a good lesson and a fun activity. I'm also getting really involved in Joseph's school, so that should be fun.

Too Much On My Plate

Today was a hard day for me. I feel like I just have a lot going on right now.

The "Bad" Things:

I didn't here back about the job at Veritas, Inc.

We bug bombed our kitchen yesterday, but the infestation is so bad that we have to do it again tomorrow.

I haven't had any use of my kitchen for about 36 hours, so we've had to eat out a lot even though we're completely broke.

We don't know how we're going to pay our rent for September, but we can't move anywhere else because we can't pay a deposit. 

I think I have a UTI. 

I'm having my period for the second time in 2 weeks because I had to stop my birth control pills prematurely; they were making me feel "morning sick" all the time.

The "Good" Things:

I had a job interview at a different PetSmart. They seemed really interested in me.

Joseph is starting Kindergarten tomorrow! And we have all his stuff ready for him.

We've been the recipients of many charitable acts over the past month.

Our landlord is providing all the supplies to take care of our roach problem.

I'm hoping and praying really hard that everything evens out soon.

Yesterday's Interview

So, I'm going to give a few more details about the interviews that I've been doing. The company is called Veritas, Inc., and it happens to be the suite next door to Bento Box Entertainment, where Mitchell was working. It is a marketing company that contracts with AT&T. I was surprised when I got the call because I didn't remember applying to the company, and I later found out that CareerBuilder applied for me. I was intrigued because they offer training in business management, but it's paid. The HR Manager liked me at my first interview, so she had me come back the next day for a second interview. They do their second interviews a little differently than most people would imagine. I went in at 9:30 yesterday morning and spent the next 8 hours shadowing one of their trainers. Her name was Sarah, and we got along with each other really well, which was great. We drove out to Stockbridge and then we just went from business to business. Technically, it's a sales job., at least for the first few years. You get a list of leads, and they are all companies who have, or have had, AT&T. You go to their business and make sure they have been switched over from DSL to the new fiber optics internet. If they don't have AT&T anymore, you try to show them that AT&T is cheaper than what they have. Being with her the whole day, I was able to see all the different responses. She saved the first guy over $150 by switching him over. There were some people who just needed their equipment updated, so she sends a request in for them. Some people either weren't in charge of the internet bills, or they pretended that they didn't speak English. And some people said they hated AT&T and didn't want to talk to us. It made me wonder if that's what it's like to be on a mission... I've always been afraid of "sales" because I didn't feel like it was something I could do, but I felt comfortable with this. It really just felt like we were just getting to know people and trying to help them out. Sarah thought I did really well, and told the CEO, Ed, that I was great at talking to the customers. I had an interview with him at the end of the day, and he really seemed to like me, too. The position starts as sales, and you work to progress from Entry Level, to Leader/Trainer, to Assistant Manager, and then to Manager. It's about 50 hours a week, which is really intimidating. That's how much Mitchell was working and it seemed like he was always gone. The second phase is entirely commissioned-based pay, and you're required to make at least $500 a week, but she said the average is around $800 a week. Sarah has been with the company about 2 years and is just about to become an Assistant Manager, so that's an idea of how quickly you can progress. Towards the end of the day, she did mention an administrative position that she felt would be good for me and she was going to mention that to Ed when she talked with him about my performance. I should get a call Monday or Tuesday to find out if they want to hire me. I'm excited because I think it would be an amazing opportunity for growth and learning, but I'm a little scared as well.

Job Interview #2

I had another job interview today; it was at a PetSmart for a Bather position in the grooming salon. I was pretty excited about this interview, just because I love animals and I've missed having them in my life. I got myself all pretty and put on my "interview" pants, which are really just the only pair of slacks that I own. 

I really don't know how well the interview went. I felt very calm and confident in myself, but I really don't know if I am what they want. I was very honest and open from the beginning; when he asked me to tell him about myself, the first thing I said was "I'm a mother of three children." The interviewer seemed disappointed that I have zero retail experience. He kept asking me different "scenario" questions that I was supposed to answer with what I've done in the past, but most of them I've never really dealt with in a work environment. I didn't say that, though! I would just answer with what I would try to do, or even expect others to do in that situation. He asked me if I'd ever multiple-tasked before and I responded by (not sarcastically) saying that I do every day because I have three kids. I'm pretty sure this guy doesn't have any experience with kids. When he asked me about working with animals, and brought up crickets, I let him know that I'm terrified of them, almost at a phobia level, but said that I'd work past it if I was required to. I really don't think that I could have done any better at the interview, it's just really in their hands now.

Anxiety

I am SO nervous about starting a new job. I talked to my new boss, Jeff, yesterday, and we decided to have me start next week on Thursday. We postponed because we've got some fun stuff going on for Joseph next week (KinderCamp!). So now I have a week until my job starts, which leaves A LOT of time for me to build up anxiety.

Today, my chest was tight most of the time. Several times, I was close to tears and/or hyperventilating. I've also been sick to my stomach, but I guess it's good that I'm not eating as much? I hate that I feel like this, but it's been something I've dealt with for so many years. I specifically remember feeling like this before attending my first Stake Dance, but I had no idea why I felt so bad.

I don't want to take medication, though, at least not during the day when I need to do stuff. It took me most of the day to just figure out what I needed to do because my brain was working so slow, but I was able to get some good stuff done. My biggest accomplishment was starting a Scripture Journal. I've been feeling prompted to learn more about the Law of Sacrifice, so I decided to start a journal to keep track of what I learn. I'm going to blog more about the journal on my other blog, Searching for a Hobby. Studying about sacrifice has really helped me to feel more comfortable with the idea of working a new job; I'm realizing that I need to make some sacrifices to help my family progress and grow.

I looked over our budget today, and that REALLY helped strengthen my resolve to work. We are in a huge financial hole right now, but if I can work while Mitchell gets freelance work, we might be able to start digging ourselves out.

A New Job

A few weeks ago, I put in a job application with Merry Maids. Shortly afterwards, they contacted me looking to interview me, but it was right when we were leaving for Virginia, so we had to wait. I went in Yesterday for the interview and the Branch Manager wanted to proceed with the process, so I did the mandatory drug test and signed the forms for the background check. I got a call today and everything was approved, so I can start as soon as Monday. 

I'm a bit scared about having a job. I haven't had a job on 5 years, and even then I only worked about 10 hours a week. This job is full-time, Monday through Friday, plus every other Saturday. I start at 8 am and work until around 2 or 3. That's a lot of work! And it's hard work, too. The pay isn't the greatest either.

What I keep reminding myself is that it's a job, which we sorely need. I was hired even though I have almost no work history, no traing, and no education. Where else would I get a job? I feel like this will be a good time in which I'll be able to challenge myself and really work on my own personal progress. I want to prove that I can be strong and useful. I also need this time to help me remember to turn to The Lord in everything I do. I've been really grateful for the support, encouragement, and love I've received from family and friends.