The Good and Bad.

The last few days have been pretty crazy. Last week, I had some kind of virus. I'm pretty sure it was the flu because of the severity of the symptoms and how quickly it went away, but Mitchell says it was a cold. Pretty much everyone else got it, but I had it the worst. And then I threw out my back on Sunday morning, and it's been slowly healing since then. So I've been barely doing the minimum requirements to get my family by.

The best things that have happened were being brought groceries from ward members both yesterday and today. We've also received clothes and a gift card. It has been so amazing how much help we have been receiving from our amazing ward. We also FINALLY got our food stamps card in the mail. And we got an Amazon gift card from our credit card rewards that we are using to get some of those more expensive home supplies like A/C filters and printer ink.

So I guess the point of this all is that there are always great blessings even when it seems like things suck.

Oh, and it was Mitchell's 30th birthday last week. It was fun!

Off-Day

Today was an "off" day for me. I just felt moody and frustrated most of the day. I've been working really hard to be patient with myself, and with the Lord's plan, as we try to figure out what to do. We haven't had much come up in the way of work yet. Mitchell is on his last week/paycheck for the freelance indie game he's been working on. He has been asked to do some illustrations for a friend, so that will be great. But that's all. The only time someone seems interested in hiring me, it would cost more to work there than I'd be getting paid! So we keep applying and keep praying and something will happen when it's time.

On the good side, Joseph has been doing well in school. He's going to a martial arts class several times a week, and it's really helping him with his focus, respect, and discipline, as well as getting energy out. We had a great family home evening with a good lesson and a fun activity. I'm also getting really involved in Joseph's school, so that should be fun.

Too Much On My Plate

Today was a hard day for me. I feel like I just have a lot going on right now.

The "Bad" Things:

I didn't here back about the job at Veritas, Inc.

We bug bombed our kitchen yesterday, but the infestation is so bad that we have to do it again tomorrow.

I haven't had any use of my kitchen for about 36 hours, so we've had to eat out a lot even though we're completely broke.

We don't know how we're going to pay our rent for September, but we can't move anywhere else because we can't pay a deposit. 

I think I have a UTI. 

I'm having my period for the second time in 2 weeks because I had to stop my birth control pills prematurely; they were making me feel "morning sick" all the time.

The "Good" Things:

I had a job interview at a different PetSmart. They seemed really interested in me.

Joseph is starting Kindergarten tomorrow! And we have all his stuff ready for him.

We've been the recipients of many charitable acts over the past month.

Our landlord is providing all the supplies to take care of our roach problem.

I'm hoping and praying really hard that everything evens out soon.

Just Depressed

Yesterday was a really good day. And this morning I felt so optimistic about the day. As I was driving Mitchell to work, I commented on how it felt like the first Monday in forever that I felt relaxed after the weekend. Then, somewhere in the middle of the day, it was like someone flipped a switch, and I slowly descended into a dark hole. Somehow, I still managed to do some good things, including making dinner. I just feel so sad, though, and my brain feels muddled. I'm trying to just stick to some kind of routine and prepare for bed rather than losing myself in a video game, which is what I usually do when I feel like this. The hardest part about days like this is the hopelessness, which gets worse each time because I think, "Well, I still haven't gotten help. I guess I never will now." But when the good days come, I either feel like I have more important things to do or I just plain forget to do anything about it. I feel like I have a mountain of things to do tomorrow, so that's not helping my outlook either.

I'm going to make myself list three good things about today:

1. I enjoyed a nice shower with the cutest baby boy in the world.

2. I took the car to get the A/C re-checked and they didn't charge me anything.

3. Joseph and Annabelle fell asleep on the way to pick up Mitchell, so we had a partially kid-free evening.

Here's hoping, and praying, that tomorrow I have what it takes to do what I need and feel good.