Stressed

I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed and stressed tonight. It sucks also because tomorrow is my birthday, but I'll probably have to spend the whole day at the laundromat, which is probably my least favorite place in the world. I need to stop complaining, but I just felt like I needed to blog tonight. Maybe if I get a good night's sleep, I'll feel better by morning.

Debating

I have trouble focusing on multiple big projects because I prefer to put all my energy into one project at a time. Lately, I've been struggling between job hunting and home organization. We need some kind of income, which is why I've been trying to spend time looking for jobs, but I'm starting to feel pretty discouraged. My house is also in complete chaos because I just haven't had time and/or energy to take care of everything.

Part of me is feeling like I have to make a decision between the two options. This thought especially came up yesterday when I started brainstorming what I thought was an amazing idea, but now I'm just worried it's too complicated. I joined a website that helps you with service-type business with a pet care service. I was pretty excited thinking I could start pet sitting and dog-walking, and then I was thinking about eventually expanding to party planning, decorating, and other interests. But then I found out you have to pay to send quotes to the different job ads. So I lost my momentum...

I just don't know if I should continue to try dividing my attention, or if I should focus on one thing at a time. And should I try to pursue this pet business idea through different avenues? I don't know... Why do I have to be so indecisive?!

Off Duty

You know those nights when you just can't handle anymore? That was me tonight. At around 8:45, I announced to the house that I was "off duty" and would not be doing anymore responsible things. I managed to convince myself to wash my makeup off and brush my teeth. I even managed to read a couple pages from the Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith for my gospel study. And I'm only blogging because I needed to rant a little bit. And, I've been having a lot of abdominal pain, which I'm sure is contributing to my crankiness.

Off-Day

Today was an "off" day for me. I just felt moody and frustrated most of the day. I've been working really hard to be patient with myself, and with the Lord's plan, as we try to figure out what to do. We haven't had much come up in the way of work yet. Mitchell is on his last week/paycheck for the freelance indie game he's been working on. He has been asked to do some illustrations for a friend, so that will be great. But that's all. The only time someone seems interested in hiring me, it would cost more to work there than I'd be getting paid! So we keep applying and keep praying and something will happen when it's time.

On the good side, Joseph has been doing well in school. He's going to a martial arts class several times a week, and it's really helping him with his focus, respect, and discipline, as well as getting energy out. We had a great family home evening with a good lesson and a fun activity. I'm also getting really involved in Joseph's school, so that should be fun.

Battle of the Roaches

We've been waging an all-out battle this week against the cockroaches that have infested our kitchen. We completely emptied the kitchen out and used THREE foggers, one on Monday and two on Wednesday. We spent yesterday afternoon sweeping up all the dead roaches and spraying all the ones that were still alive. We spent all day today cleaning the kitchen and putting everything back in very orderly. It made me happy all afternoon to look at my kitchen because it finally feels like we "moved in" to it.

That happiness has been short lived, however. We are continuously finding more roaches in there. We used all the foggers the landlord gave us, sprayed nearly the entire kitchen, and put boric acid down anywhere the roaches would be and the kids wouldn't. So why are there still so many roaches?! And what are we supposed to do now? The landlord just keeps saying we need to spray more, but we can't spray INSIDE of the walls and countertops and cabinet crannies in which these roaches are hiding. My frustration was doubled when I found two adult roaches in our dining room cabinet where I keep all my favorite books and special items.

I think we're losing the war...