Fried Brain

That's how my mind feels right now, fried. I just finished redoing my resume and cover letter so that they are both PDFs and small enough to upload to different websites. It took a lot of thought, and some help from Mitchell, but I finally got it taken care of. Now I can apply to jobs more easily, and my resume better reflects my skills and experience, so maybe someone will want to hire me now!

My brain is also fried because I'm worrying A LOT. We are still at a point where we have no idea what's going to happen at the end of August. Today we confirmed with our landlord that we are planning to move out. But we don't have plans to move anywhere. It's all just very scary and frustrating. It's definitely a trial of my faith and my patience, but I feel more spiritually in-tune than I've felt in a very long time, so I'm grateful for that.

A Day to Relax

I sort of took the day off today. I've been doing so many important things as well as a lot if housework this week, so I had earned a lot of gold on HabitRPG. I did use the morning to find out what stage our Food Stamps application is in, and to go over the budget for July and begin August's budget. We went to Kroger and got some WIC things. Then we decided to treat ourselves to Zaxby's for lunch. Sometimes it's just nice to do something a little special. I took a nice, long nap with Charlie after lunch. And we had breakfast for dinner with scrambled eggs, homemade turkey sausage, and Peanut-Butter-and-Banana pancakes. I did clean up the kitchen completely, and I put in two more job applications. So I didn't waste the day, I enjoyed it. 

We have a little hope right now with the freelance job Mitchell has been working on. If the game is picked up to be developed, he will have full-time employment with them. I'll be praying really hard for this, but I'm always keeping in mind that we follow whatever path The Lord shows to us.

Busy, Busy

Today was one of those exhausting days where my whole body Is aching by the end of it. But I did so many good things! 

I got a bunch of organizing done in my living room and dining room, which I'm not going to describe here because there's a whole post about it on my other blog. 

We went to the WIC office to pick up our next set of checks, then we went to Kroger to get a few things. 

I've decided to do research into subjects I'm curious about studying in school, so I've been doing my own history study, starting with the Paleolithic era. I read a few articles about Paleolithic art, and I watched a couple PBS documentaries about Neanderthals while I was making dinner and cleaning up afterwards.

I made chili and cornbread for dinner, but doubled the chili recipe because we were feeding the Elders. It was a bit hectic getting all the food ready, setting up tables and chairs, and serving everybody. It was because in addition to those basic tasks, there were a few other things adding to the chaos. It was pouring rain, so Mitchell opened the door for the cool air to come in, but Annabelle and Charlie went and played in it, and Annabelle was so wet that I had to help her change. The AC was turned off since the door was open, but it was like 85 degrees inside, so I was trying to set up the fan to help everyone keep cool. The kids were hungry, so they were whiny. AND, I wanted to be able to keep up with the conversation. It was all fun, though, and I'm really glad we were able to feed them. 

I'm really grateful that today was so busy. It's nice to prove to myself that I am capable of completing several projects as well as multitasking; sometimes I'm too hard on myself, and sometimes I just have bad days. But today was real-life proof that I am capable of the jobs I've been applying for!

Job Interview #2

I had another job interview today; it was at a PetSmart for a Bather position in the grooming salon. I was pretty excited about this interview, just because I love animals and I've missed having them in my life. I got myself all pretty and put on my "interview" pants, which are really just the only pair of slacks that I own. 

I really don't know how well the interview went. I felt very calm and confident in myself, but I really don't know if I am what they want. I was very honest and open from the beginning; when he asked me to tell him about myself, the first thing I said was "I'm a mother of three children." The interviewer seemed disappointed that I have zero retail experience. He kept asking me different "scenario" questions that I was supposed to answer with what I've done in the past, but most of them I've never really dealt with in a work environment. I didn't say that, though! I would just answer with what I would try to do, or even expect others to do in that situation. He asked me if I'd ever multiple-tasked before and I responded by (not sarcastically) saying that I do every day because I have three kids. I'm pretty sure this guy doesn't have any experience with kids. When he asked me about working with animals, and brought up crickets, I let him know that I'm terrified of them, almost at a phobia level, but said that I'd work past it if I was required to. I really don't think that I could have done any better at the interview, it's just really in their hands now.

Still Thinking

I've been continuing to look into schools and such. I found that I could possibly get an Associate's Degree at Chattahoochee Technical College, which is here in Marietta. That's the cheapest option of course, but that's the only cheap option in Georgia; BYU is significantly cheaper than any 4-year colleges around here. And, to be honest, I really just want to go to BYU. I love the atmosphere there, and I love having the Gospel integrated into all my classes. 

Right now, it seems I'm the only one focused on school; most of the advice I keep hearing is to wait until the kids are older. While this isn't what I want, and I'm not even sure it's right for me at this time, I've decided not to push things. I'm going to continue my "journey" of self-discovery, so that when the times comes, I'll know the direction that I want to go in.

My plan for the next few weeks is to prepare my family and my home for the beginning of school and a possible job.

Simplify Your Life

This evening, we had a Relief Society activity, and the theme was "Simplify Your Life." It was a really awesome activity! And totally something that I needed to hear. I've always thought of myself as organized, but lately my life (and home) has become chaos. After to night, I've come up with two culprits: clutter and deferred decisions.

Wow, I want to say more, but my hand is cramping all the way up into my bicep! It hurts! Hopefully, I can come back to this soon...

Neck Pain

A bit after waking up this morning, my neck started feeling stiff. Within an hour of that, I couldn't turn my head. Eventually, it got to the point where I couldn't move my back or anything. We've been using Deep Blue with massage, heating packs, and ibuprofen, but I spent pretty much the whole day in bed. I'm just trying to find different positions to alleviate the pain. It seems to be stemming from the 7th vertebra, at least that's what Mitchell said. He was massing my back and neck, but when he touched there it was intense pain. I'm hoping that my day of rest helps it heal so that I can be more productive tomorrow.

Researching a Return to College

Last week for Family Home Evening, Mitchell and I read our Patriarchal Blessings to the family. During that FHE, we were both impressed with the importance of the continuation of my education. My blessing strongly emphasizes the need for me to attend "universities" and to extend my education as far as possible. I mostly share this so you can understand more of why I'm picking such "lofty" areas of study.

So, I applied to return to BYU. My application went through a couple days ago, but it could be around three months until I find out if I'm accepted. And, since then, I've been researching majors. My major was previously Family Life, but that never really felt right to me. I've mostly only looked at the majors at BYU, but sometimes at other colleges.

On Sunday night, I suddenly decided to look up career interest tests and came up with the O*NET Interest Profiler at MyNextMove.org. I took the test and they gave me a list of dozens of careers in different job zones, which entitle different amounts of education. I went through and kept only the ones that seemed interesting to me, plus added a few that I've always been interested in. Then I went through again and took out any that didn't have programs anywhere I was considering living. Then, Mitchell and I went through and crossed off all the ones that didn't really fit my personality  (while the profiler thinks I'd make a great CEO, can anyone really see me as the great, powerful, boss-lady?). Right now, the list is at 6 different majors/careers of interest, and all are in Job Zones 4 or 5, which means they all require at least a Bachelor's Degree.

1) Art History & Curatorial Studies; I could go two ways with this, either Conservation & Restoration, with an architecture emphasis, Museum Curating, or Archiving; BYU offers a great program, SCAD in Savannah has a specific Historic Preservation & Restoration program; the website lists the job outlook as Average and the average salary around $50,000.

2) Anthropology with a Sociocultural emphasis; I would prefer to do research and analysis with this, I took part of an Anthro course back in 2007 and I found it so fascinating, but I like the aspect of studying and analyzing cultures and patterns the most; BYU offers a great program; the website lists the job outlook as Average, but looking online mostly turned up teaching jobs, and the average salary around $58,000.

3) Applied Statistics & Analytics; this I would want to take in the direction of analyzing surveys and data for patterns, and such. Most jobs are with the government. I took a Statistics class at BYU before and it was really interesting; BYU offers a great program for this as well; the website lists the job outlook as Average and the average salary around $48,000.

4) English with a Minor in Editing; I want to take this in the specific direction of becoming a Proofreader or Copy Editor because I have always enjoyed doing that. It's super weird, but I love reading things to check for punctuation and such; I could take this at BYU, but probably also at many other schools; the website lists the job outlook as Below Average and the average salary around $33,000.

5) Interior Design; I have been interested in studying this for many years. It's actually almost second-nature for me to analyze a room for it's faults and to think of ways to improve it. There are many times that I've been thinking about redoing a house as I lay in bed and getting so wound up that I can't sleep; BYU doesn't offer this, but several other places do including TCC in Virginia Beach, LDS Business College, BYU-I, and SCAD, which is also in Atlanta, has the #1 program in the country; the website lists the job outlook as Average and the average salary around $48,000

6) Architecture; this is another thing that has always interested me, probably because I just love designing every part of a house; BYU doesn't offer this, but a school just down the road from us does, it's called Southern Polytechnic State University; the website lists the job outlook as Average and the average salary as $74,000.

If this were just about what my "dream job" is, then I want to become a House Flipper, but of historic homes. I'd want to go around buying historic homes, redoing them inside and out, then selling them. I wouldn't even care if I had a TV show about it. I just love the beauty and majesty of old homes, and it makes me sad to see them in ruins or turned into ugly duplexes.

So what do you guys think?

Anxiety

I am SO nervous about starting a new job. I talked to my new boss, Jeff, yesterday, and we decided to have me start next week on Thursday. We postponed because we've got some fun stuff going on for Joseph next week (KinderCamp!). So now I have a week until my job starts, which leaves A LOT of time for me to build up anxiety.

Today, my chest was tight most of the time. Several times, I was close to tears and/or hyperventilating. I've also been sick to my stomach, but I guess it's good that I'm not eating as much? I hate that I feel like this, but it's been something I've dealt with for so many years. I specifically remember feeling like this before attending my first Stake Dance, but I had no idea why I felt so bad.

I don't want to take medication, though, at least not during the day when I need to do stuff. It took me most of the day to just figure out what I needed to do because my brain was working so slow, but I was able to get some good stuff done. My biggest accomplishment was starting a Scripture Journal. I've been feeling prompted to learn more about the Law of Sacrifice, so I decided to start a journal to keep track of what I learn. I'm going to blog more about the journal on my other blog, Searching for a Hobby. Studying about sacrifice has really helped me to feel more comfortable with the idea of working a new job; I'm realizing that I need to make some sacrifices to help my family progress and grow.

I looked over our budget today, and that REALLY helped strengthen my resolve to work. We are in a huge financial hole right now, but if I can work while Mitchell gets freelance work, we might be able to start digging ourselves out.

A New Job

A few weeks ago, I put in a job application with Merry Maids. Shortly afterwards, they contacted me looking to interview me, but it was right when we were leaving for Virginia, so we had to wait. I went in Yesterday for the interview and the Branch Manager wanted to proceed with the process, so I did the mandatory drug test and signed the forms for the background check. I got a call today and everything was approved, so I can start as soon as Monday. 

I'm a bit scared about having a job. I haven't had a job on 5 years, and even then I only worked about 10 hours a week. This job is full-time, Monday through Friday, plus every other Saturday. I start at 8 am and work until around 2 or 3. That's a lot of work! And it's hard work, too. The pay isn't the greatest either.

What I keep reminding myself is that it's a job, which we sorely need. I was hired even though I have almost no work history, no traing, and no education. Where else would I get a job? I feel like this will be a good time in which I'll be able to challenge myself and really work on my own personal progress. I want to prove that I can be strong and useful. I also need this time to help me remember to turn to The Lord in everything I do. I've been really grateful for the support, encouragement, and love I've received from family and friends.

Vacation

Yesterday, we got home from a week-and-a-half in Virginia visiting Mitchell's family. The main reason we went up was so Mitchell could attend his grandfather's funeral with his mom. We ended up staying longer than we originally planned and enjoyed some nice time relaxing and hanging out with family. The kids and I stayed with Mitchell's brother, Sam, and his family, while Mitchell, his mom, and his brother, Grant, were in Indiana for the funeral. Joseph and Annabelle got to meet and spend time with all of their Ellis cousins for the first time ever. And they loved it! Joseph loved playing with Sam's two boys, who are both older than him. And Annabelle enjoyed playing girly things with her only girl Ellis cousin, Celina, who is only 2 months younger than her. Mitchell and I took advantage of the time to relax, enjoy ourselves, and not worry about the future too much. We were able to go to Busch Gardens and watch the show London Rocks, which Mitchell's brother, Ross, is the lead guitarist in. I also rode a roller coaster for the first time in about 7 years. I was so anxious right before getting on, but I loved it just as much as I used to. I'm really grateful that we had that time to rejuvenate before getting into the stress of trying to figure out what's going to happen next. 

         From left to right: Back Row - Mitchell, Ross, Grant, Eden, Joseph. 

Front Row - Zeke, Annabelle, Charlie, Julian, Celena, Ben.

Annabelle, Celina, and Charlie playing with Disney Princess Little People!

Charlie playing in the hose with Grammy.