Debating

I have trouble focusing on multiple big projects because I prefer to put all my energy into one project at a time. Lately, I've been struggling between job hunting and home organization. We need some kind of income, which is why I've been trying to spend time looking for jobs, but I'm starting to feel pretty discouraged. My house is also in complete chaos because I just haven't had time and/or energy to take care of everything.

Part of me is feeling like I have to make a decision between the two options. This thought especially came up yesterday when I started brainstorming what I thought was an amazing idea, but now I'm just worried it's too complicated. I joined a website that helps you with service-type business with a pet care service. I was pretty excited thinking I could start pet sitting and dog-walking, and then I was thinking about eventually expanding to party planning, decorating, and other interests. But then I found out you have to pay to send quotes to the different job ads. So I lost my momentum...

I just don't know if I should continue to try dividing my attention, or if I should focus on one thing at a time. And should I try to pursue this pet business idea through different avenues? I don't know... Why do I have to be so indecisive?!

Anxiety

I am SO nervous about starting a new job. I talked to my new boss, Jeff, yesterday, and we decided to have me start next week on Thursday. We postponed because we've got some fun stuff going on for Joseph next week (KinderCamp!). So now I have a week until my job starts, which leaves A LOT of time for me to build up anxiety.

Today, my chest was tight most of the time. Several times, I was close to tears and/or hyperventilating. I've also been sick to my stomach, but I guess it's good that I'm not eating as much? I hate that I feel like this, but it's been something I've dealt with for so many years. I specifically remember feeling like this before attending my first Stake Dance, but I had no idea why I felt so bad.

I don't want to take medication, though, at least not during the day when I need to do stuff. It took me most of the day to just figure out what I needed to do because my brain was working so slow, but I was able to get some good stuff done. My biggest accomplishment was starting a Scripture Journal. I've been feeling prompted to learn more about the Law of Sacrifice, so I decided to start a journal to keep track of what I learn. I'm going to blog more about the journal on my other blog, Searching for a Hobby. Studying about sacrifice has really helped me to feel more comfortable with the idea of working a new job; I'm realizing that I need to make some sacrifices to help my family progress and grow.

I looked over our budget today, and that REALLY helped strengthen my resolve to work. We are in a huge financial hole right now, but if I can work while Mitchell gets freelance work, we might be able to start digging ourselves out.

New Resolution

I've made a new resolution. I'm going to try to blog every day. I know, I've made this resolution many times before, but I'm going to try really hard to make this time different. I added it as a daily task to my account on a website called HabitRPG. So I'm accountable every day to myself and sometimes to others for blogging. I'm also very determined to feel better.

I've been really struggling pretty much since we moved to Georgia. I can't seem to feel settled. I'm depressed and unmotivated nearly every day. I'm always exhausted and I've been choosing sleep over many activities. But I hate feeling like this. I want to enjoy life! I want to enjoy all the wonderful things that are around me and that have been happening.

I'm going to use a new format on my blog that will hopefully help me realize that there are more good things in my life than bad. I can blog about things that I'm struggling with, or negative things, but for each negative thing I write, I plan on writing a blessing, or good thing, and an accomplishment.

I want the rest of the day to happen before I blog for today, so, hopefully, I'll have two posts for today.

Please, please, please! Help me be accountable! Try to remind me or ask me what's up if I go too long without blogging.

Splurge

On Friday, Mitchell's phone just stopped working. So on Saturday, we went to the AT&T store to get him a new one. They have it now so that you can do monthly payments instead of paying everything at once. While there, the sales girl convinced us to get an iPad. We've been talking about getting one for over a year now, so we decided to just do it. Even though Mitchell was the one who really wanted to get one, I am the one who uses it the most. I love having it! I'm using to it to type this blog post. It's nice because I can just sit in bed and do it. So now I have another reason why blogging should be easier. But I always say that and I still never blog... But I can always hope I'll do better, right?

I have an idea in the works, but I haven't started yet. It would be a project for my other blog that ai haven't gotten on images. Hopefully, I can find time to get started soon.

Annabelle's Princess Party - The Decorations & Food

Annabelle's 3rd birthday was the 22nd of October and I threw her a Sleeping Beauty Princess Tea Party. I stayed up too late too many nights making decorations for her party, but it looked so great!

I made the Happy Birthday out of glitter foam sheets and her name out of felt. When she woke up in the morning, one of the first things she pointed out was this and she said, "Look, Mom! It says "Happy Birthday, Annabelle!"

I wanted the house to look like a castle and I came up with a fun idea to hang the streamers like a roof. I just loved the way it looked.

Also in the upper left corner, you can sort of see her Birthday balloons. One was a foil Princess Crown and then two pink balloons. She was so excited when I brought them to her and she played with them until they couldn't say up on their own anymore.

We used Mitchell's art desk as the food table. I made the stained glass window hanging over it. 

We had Hot Chocolate with toppings, pink lemonade, strawberry cupcakes, tea cakes (pound cake with icing), cucumber sandwiches and cream cheese & jelly sandwiches cut into crowns, lemon cookies, dipped pretzel rods, dipped marshmallows, and berries.

One of the moms brought fresh roses from her garden, and they were so beautiful!

I'm not Martha Stewart...

Last night, I tried making some cupcakes that I got in a Martha Stewart email. While I was making them, I was also making dinner and feeding an uncooperative Joseph dinner. Mitchell invited our friends/old roommates, Aaron and Staci, over for dinner at the last minute, so I was also showering and straightening things up. They didn't turn out like her cupcakes. They were still pretty good, but not as cute as hers. I only had 2 jumbo egg whites instead of 3 large egg whites and I couldn't get them to beat into stiff peaks, I also didn't have the right decorating candies.

Dinner was still fun, even though Aaron and Staci didn't show up until an hour later because they were playing Final Fantasy VI and couldn't get off yet. I thought I was going to starve to death and I was annoyed because I had been rushing to shower and it took them FOREVER to get here. We ate and watched the new episode of House.

Today's been super busy already and it's only noon, but I'll post about all that tomorrow.