Desiring Motherhood

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, even as you desire of me so it shall be done unto you; and if you desire, you shall be the means of doing much good in this generation." D&C 11:8

It's taken me a little while to think about this as well as find the time to post. When I first read this verse, I knew it applied to how I have been feeling. I know that I need to have a desire to be a good mother. I also know that if I have the desire, I will be blessed to do much good in this world. My patriarchal blessing tells me that some of the greatest work I will do in my life will be done as I am striving to be a mother in Zion. Sometimes it's hard to find the desire, but when I do find it, I feel great about the things I do and the way I feel.

Today, Mitchell and I took the kids to the park and we had a really good talk. I was expressing frustration with knowing how to schedule my day and make time for all the things I feel I need to do. Through that talk, Mitchell helped me realize that all of the side goals and projects that I've been giving myself aren't important when compared with my role of motherhood. He told me that I need to give the kids my time and that will help me become a better mother, not completing tons of projects.

The hardest thing for me is waking up in the morning and remembering that I'm trying to be a mother, not a perfect housekeeper with perfect children. And it's hard remember why I want to be a mother when I'm woken by 3 kids clamoring for my attention. Instead of getting frustrated in that moment, I want to remember these faces and my desire to be the best mother that THEY need.