Debating

I have trouble focusing on multiple big projects because I prefer to put all my energy into one project at a time. Lately, I've been struggling between job hunting and home organization. We need some kind of income, which is why I've been trying to spend time looking for jobs, but I'm starting to feel pretty discouraged. My house is also in complete chaos because I just haven't had time and/or energy to take care of everything.

Part of me is feeling like I have to make a decision between the two options. This thought especially came up yesterday when I started brainstorming what I thought was an amazing idea, but now I'm just worried it's too complicated. I joined a website that helps you with service-type business with a pet care service. I was pretty excited thinking I could start pet sitting and dog-walking, and then I was thinking about eventually expanding to party planning, decorating, and other interests. But then I found out you have to pay to send quotes to the different job ads. So I lost my momentum...

I just don't know if I should continue to try dividing my attention, or if I should focus on one thing at a time. And should I try to pursue this pet business idea through different avenues? I don't know... Why do I have to be so indecisive?!

Still Thinking

I've been continuing to look into schools and such. I found that I could possibly get an Associate's Degree at Chattahoochee Technical College, which is here in Marietta. That's the cheapest option of course, but that's the only cheap option in Georgia; BYU is significantly cheaper than any 4-year colleges around here. And, to be honest, I really just want to go to BYU. I love the atmosphere there, and I love having the Gospel integrated into all my classes. 

Right now, it seems I'm the only one focused on school; most of the advice I keep hearing is to wait until the kids are older. While this isn't what I want, and I'm not even sure it's right for me at this time, I've decided not to push things. I'm going to continue my "journey" of self-discovery, so that when the times comes, I'll know the direction that I want to go in.

My plan for the next few weeks is to prepare my family and my home for the beginning of school and a possible job.

Researching a Return to College

Last week for Family Home Evening, Mitchell and I read our Patriarchal Blessings to the family. During that FHE, we were both impressed with the importance of the continuation of my education. My blessing strongly emphasizes the need for me to attend "universities" and to extend my education as far as possible. I mostly share this so you can understand more of why I'm picking such "lofty" areas of study.

So, I applied to return to BYU. My application went through a couple days ago, but it could be around three months until I find out if I'm accepted. And, since then, I've been researching majors. My major was previously Family Life, but that never really felt right to me. I've mostly only looked at the majors at BYU, but sometimes at other colleges.

On Sunday night, I suddenly decided to look up career interest tests and came up with the O*NET Interest Profiler at MyNextMove.org. I took the test and they gave me a list of dozens of careers in different job zones, which entitle different amounts of education. I went through and kept only the ones that seemed interesting to me, plus added a few that I've always been interested in. Then I went through again and took out any that didn't have programs anywhere I was considering living. Then, Mitchell and I went through and crossed off all the ones that didn't really fit my personality  (while the profiler thinks I'd make a great CEO, can anyone really see me as the great, powerful, boss-lady?). Right now, the list is at 6 different majors/careers of interest, and all are in Job Zones 4 or 5, which means they all require at least a Bachelor's Degree.

1) Art History & Curatorial Studies; I could go two ways with this, either Conservation & Restoration, with an architecture emphasis, Museum Curating, or Archiving; BYU offers a great program, SCAD in Savannah has a specific Historic Preservation & Restoration program; the website lists the job outlook as Average and the average salary around $50,000.

2) Anthropology with a Sociocultural emphasis; I would prefer to do research and analysis with this, I took part of an Anthro course back in 2007 and I found it so fascinating, but I like the aspect of studying and analyzing cultures and patterns the most; BYU offers a great program; the website lists the job outlook as Average, but looking online mostly turned up teaching jobs, and the average salary around $58,000.

3) Applied Statistics & Analytics; this I would want to take in the direction of analyzing surveys and data for patterns, and such. Most jobs are with the government. I took a Statistics class at BYU before and it was really interesting; BYU offers a great program for this as well; the website lists the job outlook as Average and the average salary around $48,000.

4) English with a Minor in Editing; I want to take this in the specific direction of becoming a Proofreader or Copy Editor because I have always enjoyed doing that. It's super weird, but I love reading things to check for punctuation and such; I could take this at BYU, but probably also at many other schools; the website lists the job outlook as Below Average and the average salary around $33,000.

5) Interior Design; I have been interested in studying this for many years. It's actually almost second-nature for me to analyze a room for it's faults and to think of ways to improve it. There are many times that I've been thinking about redoing a house as I lay in bed and getting so wound up that I can't sleep; BYU doesn't offer this, but several other places do including TCC in Virginia Beach, LDS Business College, BYU-I, and SCAD, which is also in Atlanta, has the #1 program in the country; the website lists the job outlook as Average and the average salary around $48,000

6) Architecture; this is another thing that has always interested me, probably because I just love designing every part of a house; BYU doesn't offer this, but a school just down the road from us does, it's called Southern Polytechnic State University; the website lists the job outlook as Average and the average salary as $74,000.

If this were just about what my "dream job" is, then I want to become a House Flipper, but of historic homes. I'd want to go around buying historic homes, redoing them inside and out, then selling them. I wouldn't even care if I had a TV show about it. I just love the beauty and majesty of old homes, and it makes me sad to see them in ruins or turned into ugly duplexes.

So what do you guys think?

New Resolution

I've made a new resolution. I'm going to try to blog every day. I know, I've made this resolution many times before, but I'm going to try really hard to make this time different. I added it as a daily task to my account on a website called HabitRPG. So I'm accountable every day to myself and sometimes to others for blogging. I'm also very determined to feel better.

I've been really struggling pretty much since we moved to Georgia. I can't seem to feel settled. I'm depressed and unmotivated nearly every day. I'm always exhausted and I've been choosing sleep over many activities. But I hate feeling like this. I want to enjoy life! I want to enjoy all the wonderful things that are around me and that have been happening.

I'm going to use a new format on my blog that will hopefully help me realize that there are more good things in my life than bad. I can blog about things that I'm struggling with, or negative things, but for each negative thing I write, I plan on writing a blessing, or good thing, and an accomplishment.

I want the rest of the day to happen before I blog for today, so, hopefully, I'll have two posts for today.

Please, please, please! Help me be accountable! Try to remind me or ask me what's up if I go too long without blogging.

What I REALLY Want for Mother's Day

I was thinking about what I really WANT while I was in the shower.

I've been feeling down a lot lately, and just feeling like I need something, but not know what it is. So my thought process went to how Mitchell and I haven't been spending much time together the past week because he's working on a "Top Secret" project right now, and will be until Monday. But then I thought about how we really haven't spent much time together since we moved to Georgia because he works about 50 hours a week. And we're always stressed about money or job stuff or something "adult."

So I realized what I want is a trip, with Mitchell and without the kids. We've NEVER done that before. In the 6 years we've been married, we've never gone somewhere special just the two of us (I'm not talking about a few hours for a date). We never had a honeymoon or a babymoon or an anniversary trip or any of those things that people normally do. Because we're poor, we've always been poor, and we probably always will be poor.

So what do I do then? How do I realize this dream? How have others done it?

Spiritual Duty as a Mother

Something that I've been seeing a lot of lately is the discussion about the role of the Priesthood, and how it affects women. It's been on my mind a lot as I read the opinions and feelings of many different people with many different views.  

I've been reading and studying the Doctrine and Covenants lesson on Priesthood lately, and I feel like it addresses this issue so well. It answers my questions and confirms my testimony.

Over and over again, I've read and understood that I am able to have all the blessings of the Priesthood through my diligent study of the scriptures and participation in the ordinances of the gospel. One passage that I have studied multiple times, and that has helped lead me to this understanding, is in Section 84. I feel like these verses describe my duty as a mother.

19 And this greater priesthood administereth the gospel and holdeth the key of the mysteries of the kingdom, even the key of the knowledge of God. 

20 Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest. 

21 And without the ordinances thereof, and the authority of the priesthood, the power of godliness is not manifest unto men in the flesh;

22 For without this no man can see the face of God, even the Father, and live.

23 Now this Moses plainly taught to the children of Israel in the wilderness, and sought diligently to sanctify his people that they might behold the face of God.

As I have studied and prayed about these verses, I've been lead to know that they are my goal as a mother, to prepare my children, and self, through the power of the priesthood to be worthy to behold the face of God. Through my study, I have learned that, in order to do this, I must teach my children to keep the commandments, to study the scriptures diligently, and to participate in gospel ordinances regularly. Through personal righteousness and regular participation in temple ordinances, every member of my family will the able to access the mysteries of the kingdom, the knowledge of God, and the power of godliness; they will be worthy to behold the face of God.

This is a life-long goal, so my prayer is that I will be able to keep it in the forefront of my mind throughout daily life so that I can help my family progress.

Searching for a Hobby

I think something important I've been learning is to have something for myself, to keep my "identity." It was recommended by my therapist, too. So, over the past week or two, Mitchell and I have been discussing a hobby for me. We are taking this a bit seriously because we want it to be successful. I have a tendency to start things, but never finish them, or even to do tons of research for something, but never actually start it. That is causing us to take our time to find something that I'm really interested in and capable of doing. As part of the process, Mitchell had me make a list of all the hobbies I could think of. He encouraged me to think outside the box and even put things that I probably wouldn't be able to do or even want to do, just to get the ideas flowing. Here's the list that I made (it's REALLY long):

• photography
• gardening
• music - singing, piano, viola, etc.
• running/marathon training
• yoga
• sewing
• scrapbooking
• cooking/baking
• cake decorating
• crocheting/knitting
• beauty - trying new hair styles, makeup techniques, nail art tricks, etc.
• get a pet
• painting
• drawing/sketching
• woodworking
• dance
• beading/jewelry making
• pottery
• home design
• home repair
• housework
• reading
• writing
• crafting
• travel/sightseeing
• learn a language
• family history
• blogging
• journaling
• cross-stitch
• video games
• watching movies/tv shows
• quilting
• fashion
• party planning 
• hiking
• rock climbing
• martial arts/kickboxing
• model/dollhouse building
• film/make videos
• cycling
• weight-lifting
• swimming
• auto mechanics
• computer/technology stuff
• camping
• calligraphy
• aviation
• teaching
• hang-gliding
• volunteering
• activism - charities, politics, causes, etc.
• antiquing
• surfing
• scuba-diving
• ballooning
• learn a new instrument
• landscaping
• candle making
• art - collage, pastel, sculpture, abstract, etc.
• acting
• shooting
• hunting
• taxidermy
• floral arranging
• glass blowing
• stained glass
• story-telling
• study psychology
• chemistry
• astrology
• astronomy
• nutrition/diet science
• art history
• architecture
• boating/sailing
• racing
• roleplaying
• board gaming/ card games
• basket weaving
• collecting
• puzzles - word, picture, number, etc.
• play pool
• horseback riding

Do you have any hobbies to add to this list?

New Blog Direction

"Therefore this is thy gift: apply unto it..." D&C 8:4

I've decided to take this blog in a more focused direction. One of my biggest struggles is feeling like I have purpose and knowing where to go with my life. During one of my therapy sessions, my therapist asked me what my ultimate goal was. I took my time to think about the question because it's such a big one, but I still knew it was the first thing that came to my mind: to be the best mom. My whole life, I wanted to be a wife and a mother. Now I am, but I take these blessings for granted too often. My therapist recommended that I keep this ultimate goal in mind when I am trying to figure out what to do with myself or I am getting stuck in the minute details of life. So I've decided to make this blog a way to chronicle my journey towards becoming  a better mother.

 These children are a gift from God and I want to cherish this gift.

Big Update

We all stayed home from church today. Mitchell and Joseph are sniffing and coughing all the time, I have a sore throat, and Annabelle even has a little bit of a stuffy nose. We were originally going to bless Annabelle today, but post-poned it until the 16th because of our sickness.

I took a really long nap with Annabelle today and it was great. I was just really tired and couldn't even keep my eyes open. Luckily, Annabelle was tired, too. It frequently seems like she's the most awake when I'm the most tired. Hopefully, my nap and an early bedtime tonight will give me the energy I need to be a mommy tomorrow.

Mitchell has started doing freelance web design for a graphic design company in Orem. It's nice having him working again, but I'm not good at being by myself with the kids so often. It really wears me down and I have more problems with my depression. I might have to go up on my meds soon. School starts on Tuesday and Mitchell has classes every day and then he'll be working either at home or the office quite frequently. I'm just going to pray really hard and be really patient.

Annabelle is such a sweetheart. She's such a happy little girl. It's funny because it seems like she's either really happy or really upset. She's a girl of extremes. She seems to do things in periods. She'll have a period of eating where it's pretty much all she wants to do for a day or two. Then she'll switch to sleeping and she hardly ever wakes up. She'll even have pooping periods where I have to change her every 30 minutes or so and she goes through 3 or 4 outfits in one day. It's pretty funny, but sometimes exhausting... especially when it's an eating period.

I've decided to work on my goals for the New Year one at a time. Since they are more of projects than things that need to be done on a regular basis, I think this will help me accomplish them more easily. I've been brainstorming and organizing for my chore book. I'm collaborating a lot with Mitchell so that it's something that will work for our family for a long time. We've decided to leave monetary amounts out. We'll decide how much the kids earn based on the number of jobs done, the difficulty of the jobs, and the age of the child. I'm really excited to keep working on this. Along with making the book, I'm trying to get into better cleaning habits. I'm usually a pretty messy person. So I'm trying to make sure that I stay pretty clean when I cook dinner and I'm working on doing the dishes right after we eat, instead of when we've run out of clean ones. I'm also trying to get into the habit of making my bed every morning.

Alright, I think I'm done updating now. I just want to add that I'm grateful for my husband and that he took care of Joseph while I napped today.

New Year's Resolutions

I didn't keep my resolutions from last year. I realized about at the beginning of the month that I'd barely made it half way through the Old Testament. I tried reading whenever I had a free moment, but a couple days ago, when I was only just beginning Isaiah, I decided that it wasn't worth my sanity to try to finish reading the Old Testament. My other goals (writing in my journal every day & completely 2 "merit badges") were not accomplished either. I don't even think I got through January writing every day...

Oh well, it's a New Year! So, I'm going to try again. My resolutions for 2011 are more like projects in a way. Hopefully, I can complete them.

1) Create a Chore Book. It's going to be a binder with the different chores that need to be done around the house, how frequently they need to be done, and how to do them properly. Monetary amounts will also be assigned, so that when the kids are older, they can earn a little money by doing chores. I'll be either putting the pages in page protectors or laminating them so that we can use dry-erase markers to check off what's been done. I'm going to try to add little illustrations and things so that it looks cute and fun because I'm more likely to continue using something that is cute and fun.

2) Complete the Make Love Last merit badge. Basically, I will go on a fun and exciting date with my husband every week for 2 months. There's also some other things along with it, I just don't know what right now.

Possibly... 3) Complete the Bust A Move merit badge. This one means taking dance lessons for at least 3 months and then having a recital or a big dance party at the end. This one is a little harder because it will cost money and that's why I'm not sure about it. I'm hoping to take swing classes with Mitchell, though. I've always wanted to learn to swing dance and dancing is also really good exercise, too.

Motherhood

I am coming to all of you wonderful mothers for help.

Last night, I had a bit of a breakdown. There was lots of crying and frustration. There was so much going through my head. I'm going to try to organize and explain it the best that I can and then, hopefully, you can help me out.

I feel like I am a terrible mother. I feel that I've always had a hard time with it. I don't seem to find the happiness and joy that being a mother gives so many others. But I want that! And lately, I've been finding myself always putting Joseph in front of the tv and getting frustrated with Annabelle for wanting to be held all the time. I'm always trying to find ways to distract them or keep them busy so that I can "get stuff done". I don't like that I do these things, but I'm not sure how to change what I'm doing. I have a hard time feeling like my days are successful unless I can visually see some proof. I keep elaborate lists and charts to keep track of what I do every day so that I don't feel worthless. But parenting isn't something that can be recorded on paper.

So I'm asking you all for help. What can I do to be happy in my role as a mother and put my children first?

Why I'm Feeling Depressed

I figured out why I've been feeling depressed. It's because I'm stuck at home ALL the time. I usually only leave for church (where I spend most of it with small children incapable of intelligent conversation) and to go grocery shopping. And even when my husband is home, he is so insanely busy with school projects that I can't really talk or hang out with him. I really don't have any friends here in Virginia Beach and no one that I do know even lives close to us. It sucks having such huge ward boundaries. Most of the families with children Joseph's age live about 15-20 minutes away (driving). Mitchell graduates May 18, so I'll have more time to spend with him, but he'll still be working 50+ hours a week at his 2 jobs. I seriously cannot wait to get to Provo where I'll finally have friends and family to hang out with. And if we live in married housing, there will be lots of families with children for Joseph to hang out with. Only about 2 more months. I hope I can make it.

My Biggest Regret and Greatest Desire

I am not feeling very happy this morning. My dreams last night have put me in a sort of depressed mood. On a regular basis, I have bad dreams about my self-perceived failure to get an education. In the dreams, I am usually at a school with an extremely heavy load, but I only go so some of my classes and I never do any homework. I'm also usually repeating my 12th grade year in high school.

My dreams are a skewed version of reality. I was homeschooled my senior year because I was having multiple major surgeries that made it impossible for me to leave the house. I didn't even do very much homeschool work because the combination of the healing process, the pain, and the drugs made me very tired and my brain very slow. I got my GED when I was finished with the surgeries. I didn't have any trouble with that at all. But school has always been very important to me, so I didn't ever feel like I really graduated. When I was finally done with all the surgeries (it nearly 3 years), I decided I could try to do some college work. Popi gave me money to enroll in some online BYU courses. Stupidly, I chose 4 very heavy classes. 16 credits after 3 years of no school is not a smart idea. When I started the classes, I was staying at my aunt's house in Reno. Those 2 months are the most serene and peaceful of my whole life. I was doing great on my classes and I felt so good about them. Then my life got crazier than it had ever been in my whole life. Within the next year I: had my wisdom teeth out in 4 separate and painful appointment, got dry socket and an infection, got engaged, moved across country, got married, got pregnant and ridiculously sick with the morning sickness, moved across country again, became really depressed, and had a baby. Because of all the turmoil and upheaval, I didn't finish my classes. It has become one of the things I most regret in my life. I'm constantly dreaming about that failure.

Now I have a 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I feel like it will be a decade or so before I'll finally have the chance to go to college. The hardest part is that going to college was one of the biggest dreams I had growing up. I miss learning so much! I feel kind of stuck right now. I thought about doing one of the free BYU courses, but I can't afford to buy the required reading. I sometimes get jealous of Mitchell because he's going to school and having a great time learning all these things that he's always wanted to. He gets jealous of me because he's so busy and I'm not at all. I don't know what to do with myself. My brain feels like it's starving.

Yes, I am a copier...

I'm borrowing Heidi's idea of keeping a list of the books that I read over 100 pages. I'm not going to set a specific number to read. I mostly just want to see how many books I read. Ever since Joseph, I haven't been reading as much. I can also share the fun books that I read with everyone.

Merit Badge Progress

First thing... on Thursday night after posting, Mitchell reminded me that my look-a-like is Amy Adams. I think if anyone was able to act as me, it would be her.



Second, a few months ago, I posted about a women's merit badge book that Mitchell gave me and the goal I'm working on. Well, this past weekend, I finally "shopped my closet". I also went through it again and got rid of all the clothes that don't fit right or that I feel ugly in. Now I don't have very many clothes. I'm not as small as I was before I got pregnant with Joseph, but I haven't really done much shopping since he was born, so I've been trying to squeeze into old clothes and I'm tired of feeling strangled all the time. Now I have a very long need/want list compiled. In order to get all of these things, I'm going to follow the steps in the book. First, I'm going to organize a clothing swap (I'm going to do it as a Relief Society/Young Women's activity). Then I'm going to window shop and look for the best deals on the things I need. Then I will slowly buy everything that I need. As side parts of the goal, I'm reworking my makeup techniques and I'm going to get a haircut. I'm trying to wear makeup more often and do my hair more often. If any of you feel like reading it, here's my shopping list:

• 4 short-sleeved everyday t-shirts
• 5 long-sleeved everyday t-shirts
• 2 pairs of jeans (and eventually 3 more to replace the ones I have that are too long for my legs)
• 1 black turtleneck sweater
• 1 jean jacket
• 1 "little black dress" (a modest version, of course)
• 1 suit, I want a pink houndstooth pattern with a skirt (I'm probably going to have to make it myself)
• 2 white shirts, 1 short- & 1 long-sleeved
• 1 fancy dress
• 6 pairs of exercise pants, 2 long & 4 short
• 4 long-sleeved exercise shirts
• 4 undershirts; pink, brown, navy blue, cream
• 1 black belt
• 5 pairs of capris or shorts
• 1 black purse
• 3 pairs of winter pajamas
• 2 pairs of summer pajamas
• 1 pair of knee-high boots
• something 40's or 50's inspired (there's a beautiful dress that I want to make to fulfill this, I want to do the long-sleeved version in red)
• something really brightly colored (maybe yellow, I've never had many yellow things)

The last 3 items are my style wishes that I chose as part of the goal; things that I've always wanted. The bold items are things that I've gotten already. It's kind of a lot and I'm not planning on getting it all right away. This Friday I'm going to the Sephora store and I'm going to play with all the makeup. It's going to be fun.

Just wondering, what are some of your style wishes?

Resolutions

It's the end of the year and time for resolutions. I acutally did pretty well on my resolutions this year. Yay for me! Here they are because I didn't have my blog then:

1. Be able to complete my Baron Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga DVD. At the beginning of this year I was 2 weeks out of having a baby, so this was a big goal for me. And I completed it. I even moved on to more intensive workouts. Yay!

2. Read the Book of Mormon. I have 4 chapters left. I was starting 4th Nephi this morning. I've been reading all day. I'm glad that I did this one.

3. Contact my visiting teaching sisters every month. I have a writing only route and I'm horrible at remember to write letters. I wrote to them twice! Sad...

4. Do something to develop my creative talents every month. I think I got about 7/12 months. That's pretty good. I've worked on cooking the most, which I used to hate and wasn't good at. I've gotten better and I don't hate it any more. I worked on a little sewing, drawing, etc.


Well, I think I did pretty good. I've decided to only set 3 goals for myself for 2010. But I know they'll be challenging for me.

1. Read The Old Testament. I've never read through the whole thing.

2. Complete 2 of the merit badges from You Can Do It!. I'll finish the Style goal and pick another one. I want to do the singing one, but that depends on money for voice lessons.

3. Write in my journal every day. I used to be really good at this and then I fell out of the habit. I want to get back in it again.

Well, these are my goals. I'll probably report on them a little bit. I'm going to try to write on here every day, too, but my actual journal will get priority on busy or late nights.

I can't wait to read all of your resolutions.

Getting Better

Well, it's been a while since I've been able to post. We got hit by a huge Nor'Easter on Thursday. There was lots of power flickering on and off at our house. We came out pretty lucky, though. Our roommate's dad lost all his power and sent all the stuff in his freezer to our house. Now our freezer is so full, it's scary to open it. Today as we were driving to church we saw tons of fences blown over, there were leaves and branches everywhere and a streetlight was missing from the powerline at one place. I'm glad we don't have a yard to clean up. Although, it's going to be a pain to clean Joseph's stroller, which I left on the porch.

I'm doing pretty good. I think I've gotten past my video game binge. I played myself sick. I blame my Dad for that, but I love him anyways. :)

Today was a good day. I was dreading Nursery this morning, just because I was tired and it gets so crazy. But it went great. Sacrament Meeting was awesome, too. I'm so glad that I went to church.

We had Family Council and set goals for the week. My goal is to write in my journal and the Joseph Journal every day. We also have a family goal to remember to read our scriptures every day. We have a hard time staying consistent with that.

Well, Mitchell's waiting for the computer, so I'm done now.

Blah

That's how I feel today: blah. Mitchell is skipping class today and he and his friend are playing video games in the living room. It's totally throwing me off of any plan or schedule I might have had. I don't know what I'm going to do today.

I didn't get much done yesterday. There was a whole fiasco with the dentist thing. I waited for 2 hours in the waiting room for my appointment. Then my dentist, our friend from church, came out and asked why I was there and that my appointment wasn't until tomorrow. I told him I was sure that it was supposed to be today. So he fixed me up. On the way home, Mitchell told me that my appointment wasn't until Wednesday. Then I realized I had gone through the whole day thinking it was Wednesday and it wasn't.

I guess I completed my goal because I didn't have a meltdown or anything. I ended up playing Fable, but I also washed the bed sheets and did another load of laundry, too.

Today's goal: ...I'll get back on that one...

Slacking

Well, I have been seriously slacking on blogging and goal setting. I've been sick, though. It's just a cold so it's nothing too major, but it's still made me feel horrible and not want to do anything. I've been spending a lot of time playing video games. It's terrible, I find them so addictive and I love playing them. I inherited it from my father.

I have another dentist appointment today. My bridge came loose again. It's not as bad as it was, but it still needs to be fixed. That's going to take up a chunk of my afternoon.

I'm not sure what to set as a goal for today. I'm feeling a little lost and foggy. I have been dealing with a little more depression this past week or so.

Okay... I've been sitting here for a few minutes trying to think of a goal and I'm not succeeding. That just shows how foggy I am today. I'm thinking that just making it through the day without a meltdown is a good enough goal. To tell the truth, I really just want to get back on Fable 2 and find the last 13 gargoyles. I'm totally a video game nerd.

Well, I'm going to attempt to make progress on this day. If anyone has any advice on beating this mood, I'd welcome it.

Back in the Swing of Things

It's been a few days since I set goals for myself. I guess sewing Joseph's costume was a goal, but I still want to get back into setting myself goals everyday.

Today's goal: To get all my chores done. I set up a cleaning schedule for myself a couple months ago and I haven't been following it. Today is bathroom cleaning day and it hasn't been done since we moved here... It's embarrasing admitting it. It's not disgustingly dirty, but it is dirty. So that's what I'm going to do today.

And because I don't want this post to be boring, I'm including some pictures of Joseph from last week.

Naptime

Getting caught turning the computer on and off. The little black board was supposed to stop him from getting to it. It obviously didn't work.